Today my heart aches.
Last night I found out that an acquaintance is at the last stages of cancer. Her battle is almost over. Despite the fact that this person hurt me in the past, I am grateful that today I have no ill feelings toward her. I only feel compassion. It is truly a gift from the Lord.
I called a special friend of mine to find out if she knew and if she wanted to come with me to visit this ailing lady. I was stunned by what I heard over the phone. My friend had been hurt by this lady. I don't know all the details, but I do know that I sensed deep anger and pain from my friend. She felt that she had been taken advantage of and despite her attempts at getting what she felt she deserved, the issue had not been resolved.
After her explanation of their minimal correspondence over the last year she said, "...so, no, I don't think that I'll go down to visit her."
Bitterness.
The thought of bitterness being so deep that someone would refuse to visit another that is close to death overwhelms me. My heart aches with the thought of her standing before the Lord on judgment day, having to account for her unforgiveness. And for what reason? Because something that she thought she had a right to has been withheld.
Am I holding such bitterness in my heart? Am I willing to give up what I think I have a right to for God's higher purposes? Am I trying to make another miserable to get "revenge" for how I have been hurt? I causes me to examine my heart...again.
I am praying that my friend will change her mind. Will you please pray with me for this friend?
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7 comments:
Ah, that old enemy bitterness likes to sneak in whenever our flesh is crossed. I truly hope your friend will find repentance and forgiveness and mercy. It truly is something we need to be on the lookout for, this bitterness thing. It will do us in if it can. Thanks for the reminder.
Yes, it is very sad and something that I need to be on the lookout within myself constantly at times.
As an update, I went to visit both of these ladies. Even though I invited my friend to come with me to visit the other, she "didn't feel up to it". I pray that she will change her mind. I was glad to visit the lady with cancer. She is struggling and in pain. Yet we prayed before I left and she seemed appreciative that I came. May the Lord's will be done.
that's pretty intense. i've heard it said that bitterness holds a person captive in a 8x10 cell. and it's not the person towards whom bitterness is felt. fundamentally, bitterness and unforgiveness is a rejection of god's saving grace.
Bipin Sen, thanks for stopping by! Even though I haven't specifically heard it said that bitterness and unforgiveness are a rejection of God's grace, I can kind of see it. Good thoughts to ponder.
I've been wondering if once a person harbors bitterness in their heart, is it easier for them to harbor more bitterness toward others or other situations? It would seem to me that once bitterness has taken root, it's easier and easier for the person to be offended.
I'm an xanga member and saw your comment on georgene's site. I recently have dealt with bitterness and I know it is hard. Yes, once you open your heart, Satan sees it as an open door and quickly tries to get you to advance to another 'level' of bitterness. I don't have a lot of time right now to read all your posts, but I will be praying for you earnestly. Feel free to visit my newly created xanga site.
Blessings, praisegalall4Him
Thanks for visiting,and last night after reading your entry and thinking about unforgiveness, and bitterness, the Lord impressed upon me where I too once again may have some more things to deal with. (see today's entry at my site). I continue to keep you in prayer today, as well as your friends' too.
Oh and another thing, I sure do appreciate ot's (occupational therapists!!!!-my son has had one for years now. He has been classified as a CSE file, and now a 504 file student. At the end of this school year he will be declassified from ot services. Although he is not testing exactly normal, it is not enough delay to continue pull-out services from the classroom. He's finishing third grade. I sure do appreciate the ot's like you who help children like my son, may the Lord bless you!
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