Here are a couple senarios of inconsistencies in men/women dress that have been posed to Keith and I:
One person asked why, in "conservative" circles (I'm assuming he means Anabaptist/Amish/Mennonite), the women must wear clothes that are so much different from the world, but the men can wear whatever they want?
Another person relayed recently seeing a couple in which the lady was wearing a long, modest dress, headcovering, etc. and the man was wearing shorts and a tank top. He was rightfully disgusted. He also told of his mother being very upset by the "double standard" that she saw in the church.
So, because this topic addresses both men and women and it could be considered Biblical teaching, Keith and I are working together on this post. The writing of this occurred while Keith worked on a van up on a hoist in the shop, children were running around in glee and parents stopped occasionally to help teach them how to ride bikes without training wheels for the first time (Yeah!!), and me with pen and paper. Such is life.
Let's look at a couple Scriptures.
1 Tim 2:8-10 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
KJV
1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
KJV
There is a specific Scriptural basis for women to dress modestly. There is an indirect basis for men and women alike. Being separate from the world encompasses many things, but dress (following the fads and fashions of the world) is one way that so many run after things of this life.
Rom 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
KJV
John 17:14 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
KJV
Luke 16:15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
KJV
James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
KJV
James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
KJV
1 Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:
KJV
1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
KJV
What has happened to the saving of our bodies soley for our spouse? We now want to "let it all hang out". We may not be physically intimate with the person we pass on the street, but for those who don't look away, nothing is left to the imagination and yet imaginations run wild. Interesting paradox.
Within conservative Christian circles, there is often many controversies regarding this topic. The phrase "dress modestly" is debated, as it should be, but Scriptural backbone is often lacking in church leadership.
Practically speaking, men tend to be more visually stimulated. Why would I (Heidi) want to dress in a way to reveal things meant only for the intimacies of the marriage bed? I do not want to stand before God on judgment day and give account for my part in encouraging lustful thoughts in men that see me. (I am in no way trying to suggest that I have any special looks compared to the next woman, by the way.)
Now, to move on to the inconsistencies seen with men's attire. Is it any more acceptable for men to dress in a way that encourages women to take a second glance? Absolutely not, especially for the Christian. There is an added level of responsibility and a "higher bar" for the Christian, as there should be. To whom much is given, much is required.
Women's attire has tended to have become more and more risque for some time and since Scripture addresses it specifically, Anabaptist churches have made decisions on what would be acceptable or not. It is within the jurisdiction of the church to determine the practical working out of Scriptural principles. Men's dress has stayed more consistently modest, in general (i.e. pants and button-down shirts), but admittedly has become more revealing as well.
To many "Christians" shame, the age-old deception of "saved by works" comes into play here again. Since many churches don't have agreements regarding dress for men, men feel free to dress how they want, without any concern for their stand before God. Women, likewise adhere to the established dress agreement (or tradition as it may be) and therefore feel that they are in right standing before God. Neither are correct. God is concerned with the heart motive behind the actions. Rules, regulations, and tradition don't' save us. Acknowledging our sinful nature, repenting of it and giving our lives and service to the One who died for us does. Obedience to the Word is an essential component to serving Christ.
When Keith and I saw God's Truths regarding dress, we made changes. I (Heidi) began wearing longer, modest dresses. Keith now wears suspenders, plain button-down shirts, and plain slacks in public. In that way, we feel that we are both adhering to God's call for us to be modest and separate from the fashions of the world. The question was posed to us one time, "If you and Heidi were in a store, but were at different areas, would someone else walking through the store be able to know that you were husband and wife?" Interesting question and one that we pondered much.
Here is another example with an interesting twist. We know a man, who is very humble, and when he found out that him wearing short-sleeved, button-down shirts was causing another woman to stumble in her thoughts, he made an immediate decision to wear long-sleeved, button-down shirts in public from that point on. What an amazing example of love and accommodation for another person's soul!
It is no wonder that "hypocrite" is one of the biggest hindrances for non-Christians coming to the saving knowledge of Christ. In the same way, it is no wonder that it is one of the biggest reasons for people leaving the church. Inconsistencies such as the examples that were posed to us reveal deep deception and false assumptions regarding what it means to follow Christ.
May God help us to walk the walk of being Christ's disciples.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Guarding our hearts for the sake of our marriage
In response to a question that I received regarding this post, I am writing my thoughts on this important topic.
There are so many attempts by the enemy of our souls to bring division, distance, distrust and lack of harmony in our homes. Satan wants to break up families, or at least have them not function optimally. In addition, being a descendant of Adam, our flesh has it's own issues with submission, compromise, and overall love for self.
As women, we desire a strong, healthy, fulfilling marriage. But so often we are as the foolish woman who tears down our house (marriage) instead of building it up.
For most women (and likely men to an extent-but I'm focusing on women), our attitudes and actions begin with our thoughts. Are we not instructed to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?
How do we guard our thoughts...and hearts... as wives?
Who are we listening to? If we are listening to the world, or even our pie-in-the-sky expectations of marriage, we will see a few things. For one, we will see the portrayal of the "perfect" husband who is always understanding, supportive, giving us every heart's desire, an excellent provider, knowing when to talk and when to listen, basically has no faults...and is exceptionally handsome. No man can live up to these unrealistic ideals of perfection all the time. When we listen to this (or are even unconsciously exposed to it over and over), it feeds frustration and discontentment because our husband can't "measure up". We can even have a tendency to let our eyes wander longingly at another man who we think "must be better". Even if we would "never" think of being physically unfaithful, we can be just as unfaithful with our thoughts and feed a "woe is me" attitude. Obviously not helpful.
The other thing that society, and especially the media, portrays is the husband who is a blumbering idiot, who needs the wife to "take care" of him, keep him from making wrong decisions, needing to take things into her own hands to provide for the family and keep things in order because HE obviously can't do it. Pretty soon we start to view our husband in the same way. Instead of supporting him in his role as husband, we start to take over thinking that we know so much better what and how things should be done.
The society at large and the media are fairly easy targets. What about in our smaller circles of association? Are there certain people that you know that tend to gossip? Imagine this scenario (maybe you don't even have to imagine it):
"I just can't believe what Sue's husband did! The other day, he totally disregarded her need to have some alone time. She has really needed a break from all those children, you know. At least he gets out each day and can have adult conversation. He has got to be the most selfish man I know! I don't know what I would do in her situation, but I know that I wouldn't stand for it. She has to put up with so much. Poor, poor Sue. We need to earnestly pray for her."
So now that you have this information, what do you do with it? Most likely, it will be stored in the corner of your mind. You may say to yourself, "Boy, am I glad that MY husband isn't like that!" You also may think, "You know, I needed to get out of the house last week too, and even though I tried to hint at it, my husband did not 'get it'". So then the next time your husband doesn't "get it", you remember the previous time, getting more and more irritated. The seed starts growing. At this point, it doesn't matter that your husband has had to deal with grouchy and demanding customers all day at work, that he has a horrible cold, or that he is very preoccupied with things that the Lord is showing him. All that matters is that your perceived needs haven't been met.
Most times, we don't even need the "help" of others to feed negative thoughts about our husbands. It comes out of our flesh without any coercion.
"If things were this way, I would be happy."
"If only he would do ________."
"He has it so easy. He doesn't have to deal with _______ all day!"
(need I say more?)
So far I have listed some ways that our thoughts negatively affect our marriages. What about ways to feed good thoughts, that will only enhance and build up our marriage relationship?
How we pray for our husbands says a lot about our motivations and condition of our hearts. Praying that our husband would think on things of God throughout his day, that God would place a hedge of protection around him and that there would be opportunities for him to be a light in the darkness, build him up. Praying that he would finally see your needs is selfishly motivated. Yep, you may have legitimate needs that are not being met, but dwelling on them is not going to help. I'm not saying that we shouldn't pray for needs in our lives, but how we pray for them, reveals much regarding our heart attitudes. Lean on God. Through the struggles, He will help you.
We need to meditate on Philippians 4:8 (I've been enjoying the Amplified version lately.)
Focus on the things that your husband is doing well. Having a thankful and grateful heart does wonders for a marriage. Think the best of your husband. That will guard you from making quick and erroneous assumptions about his motivations. All of a sudden, his going out to work around the house after supper is not an excuse to get away from you and the children. It becomes clear that he is a diligent provider, getting tasks done so that he can spend time with you later. His not returning a phone call is not him being insensitive and irresponsible, he was just really busy at the time and honestly forgot. When we think positively, we think thoughts of trust and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Stay away from those situations, people or environments, whenever possible, that do not promote supporting and uplifting our husbands is essential. If it means getting rid of the TV or turning off the radio, so be it. If it means not spending so much time with a particular person that continues to gossip, even after you have lovingly expressed your concerns about it to her, that is just the way it is. The covenant relationship with your spouse needs your total commitment. Willingly putting ourselves into situations that may tempt our thoughts to wander from the straight and narrow path is dangerous and unscriptural.
On the other hand, build friendships/relationships with other women who will encourage you in your role as a wife and mother, pray for you, and can give practical advice for the day to day challenges.
Subscribe to Biblically based Christian publications for encouragement. I currently subscribe to An Encouraging Word and Keepers at Home magazines (if you want contact information for Keepers at Home, please let me know). There are also many, many wonderful online resources. Donna Kauffman has a neat site. You can also contact Lois at this address: jhbreneman@juno.com to subscribe to an email-based newsletter and check out this site. Choosing Home and Biblical Womanhood are also excellent blogs. There are so many wonderful resources out there. Take advantage of them. We all need to be constantly built up in our Biblical roles because the enemy is working hard to tear us down.
Most importantly, stay rooted in Christ. Do not neglect time with our Creator and Sustainer. He is our hope and refuge, our constant help in trouble. As we focus on Christ, our eyes will turn inward toward taking the beam out of our eye and not focusing on the speck in our husband's.
There are so many attempts by the enemy of our souls to bring division, distance, distrust and lack of harmony in our homes. Satan wants to break up families, or at least have them not function optimally. In addition, being a descendant of Adam, our flesh has it's own issues with submission, compromise, and overall love for self.
As women, we desire a strong, healthy, fulfilling marriage. But so often we are as the foolish woman who tears down our house (marriage) instead of building it up.
Prov 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh
it down with her hands.
KJV
For most women (and likely men to an extent-but I'm focusing on women), our attitudes and actions begin with our thoughts. Are we not instructed to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?
2 Cor 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
KJV
How do we guard our thoughts...and hearts... as wives?
Who are we listening to? If we are listening to the world, or even our pie-in-the-sky expectations of marriage, we will see a few things. For one, we will see the portrayal of the "perfect" husband who is always understanding, supportive, giving us every heart's desire, an excellent provider, knowing when to talk and when to listen, basically has no faults...and is exceptionally handsome. No man can live up to these unrealistic ideals of perfection all the time. When we listen to this (or are even unconsciously exposed to it over and over), it feeds frustration and discontentment because our husband can't "measure up". We can even have a tendency to let our eyes wander longingly at another man who we think "must be better". Even if we would "never" think of being physically unfaithful, we can be just as unfaithful with our thoughts and feed a "woe is me" attitude. Obviously not helpful.
The other thing that society, and especially the media, portrays is the husband who is a blumbering idiot, who needs the wife to "take care" of him, keep him from making wrong decisions, needing to take things into her own hands to provide for the family and keep things in order because HE obviously can't do it. Pretty soon we start to view our husband in the same way. Instead of supporting him in his role as husband, we start to take over thinking that we know so much better what and how things should be done.
The society at large and the media are fairly easy targets. What about in our smaller circles of association? Are there certain people that you know that tend to gossip? Imagine this scenario (maybe you don't even have to imagine it):
"I just can't believe what Sue's husband did! The other day, he totally disregarded her need to have some alone time. She has really needed a break from all those children, you know. At least he gets out each day and can have adult conversation. He has got to be the most selfish man I know! I don't know what I would do in her situation, but I know that I wouldn't stand for it. She has to put up with so much. Poor, poor Sue. We need to earnestly pray for her."
So now that you have this information, what do you do with it? Most likely, it will be stored in the corner of your mind. You may say to yourself, "Boy, am I glad that MY husband isn't like that!" You also may think, "You know, I needed to get out of the house last week too, and even though I tried to hint at it, my husband did not 'get it'". So then the next time your husband doesn't "get it", you remember the previous time, getting more and more irritated. The seed starts growing. At this point, it doesn't matter that your husband has had to deal with grouchy and demanding customers all day at work, that he has a horrible cold, or that he is very preoccupied with things that the Lord is showing him. All that matters is that your perceived needs haven't been met.
Most times, we don't even need the "help" of others to feed negative thoughts about our husbands. It comes out of our flesh without any coercion.
"If things were this way, I would be happy."
"If only he would do ________."
"He has it so easy. He doesn't have to deal with _______ all day!"
(need I say more?)
So far I have listed some ways that our thoughts negatively affect our marriages. What about ways to feed good thoughts, that will only enhance and build up our marriage relationship?
How we pray for our husbands says a lot about our motivations and condition of our hearts. Praying that our husband would think on things of God throughout his day, that God would place a hedge of protection around him and that there would be opportunities for him to be a light in the darkness, build him up. Praying that he would finally see your needs is selfishly motivated. Yep, you may have legitimate needs that are not being met, but dwelling on them is not going to help. I'm not saying that we shouldn't pray for needs in our lives, but how we pray for them, reveals much regarding our heart attitudes. Lean on God. Through the struggles, He will help you.
We need to meditate on Philippians 4:8 (I've been enjoying the Amplified version lately.)
For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
AMP
Don't forget 1 Cor 13:1-8
IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not
love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by
God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers ( the gift of interpreting the divine
will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and
possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove
mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).
Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and
if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not
love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
AMP
Focus on the things that your husband is doing well. Having a thankful and grateful heart does wonders for a marriage. Think the best of your husband. That will guard you from making quick and erroneous assumptions about his motivations. All of a sudden, his going out to work around the house after supper is not an excuse to get away from you and the children. It becomes clear that he is a diligent provider, getting tasks done so that he can spend time with you later. His not returning a phone call is not him being insensitive and irresponsible, he was just really busy at the time and honestly forgot. When we think positively, we think thoughts of trust and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Stay away from those situations, people or environments, whenever possible, that do not promote supporting and uplifting our husbands is essential. If it means getting rid of the TV or turning off the radio, so be it. If it means not spending so much time with a particular person that continues to gossip, even after you have lovingly expressed your concerns about it to her, that is just the way it is. The covenant relationship with your spouse needs your total commitment. Willingly putting ourselves into situations that may tempt our thoughts to wander from the straight and narrow path is dangerous and unscriptural.
On the other hand, build friendships/relationships with other women who will encourage you in your role as a wife and mother, pray for you, and can give practical advice for the day to day challenges.
Subscribe to Biblically based Christian publications for encouragement. I currently subscribe to An Encouraging Word and Keepers at Home magazines (if you want contact information for Keepers at Home, please let me know). There are also many, many wonderful online resources. Donna Kauffman has a neat site. You can also contact Lois at this address: jhbreneman@juno.com to subscribe to an email-based newsletter and check out this site. Choosing Home and Biblical Womanhood are also excellent blogs. There are so many wonderful resources out there. Take advantage of them. We all need to be constantly built up in our Biblical roles because the enemy is working hard to tear us down.
Most importantly, stay rooted in Christ. Do not neglect time with our Creator and Sustainer. He is our hope and refuge, our constant help in trouble. As we focus on Christ, our eyes will turn inward toward taking the beam out of our eye and not focusing on the speck in our husband's.
Matt 7:3-4
Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother's eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam of timber in your own eye? AMP
We are God's workmanship and He is molding us and shaping us into the His image as we allow Him to do so. For those of us that He has led us to be married, He is using it to prune us and draw us closer to Him. May we not fight against Him in the process.
Well, this has turned out to be quite long. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I am in NO WAY saying that I have all the answers and I've probably missed some "biggies". These are just some things that I have learned and gleaned from other's wisdom. If you have other thoughts, I would greatly appreciate hearing them.Thursday, February 23, 2006
To the anonymous commenter
I've been thinking of you today, wondering what sort of person you REALLY are. Anyone can write comments anonymously to get a laugh, but who are you INSIDE? What would cause someone to write vulgar and accusatory words about those who love the Lord?
Are you someone who's father left when you were young? Were you picked on mercilously by siblings or classmates? Maybe you felt left out and alone, so you have gravitated towards the "party scene". Are you the victom of abuse? Have you taken on the anger that you experienced from your parents growing up? Did someone hurt you so badly, that your bitterness has taken over your life? What are you lashing out at?
Did a so-called "Christian" fail you in some way? Do you feel that God has failed you? When you see those that claim to be Christians, do you just see hypocrites?
To have someone like you make a comment like you did... and then return again to make another, pricks my thoughts. I don't believe that you are just a random person that happened to come across my blog. For whatever reason, God directed you here...maybe to never return. Maybe you will never even read this. At any rate, God has used it to bring compassion for hurting souls like yourself. For that, I am thankful.
Just so you know, I'm praying for you.
Are you someone who's father left when you were young? Were you picked on mercilously by siblings or classmates? Maybe you felt left out and alone, so you have gravitated towards the "party scene". Are you the victom of abuse? Have you taken on the anger that you experienced from your parents growing up? Did someone hurt you so badly, that your bitterness has taken over your life? What are you lashing out at?
Did a so-called "Christian" fail you in some way? Do you feel that God has failed you? When you see those that claim to be Christians, do you just see hypocrites?
To have someone like you make a comment like you did... and then return again to make another, pricks my thoughts. I don't believe that you are just a random person that happened to come across my blog. For whatever reason, God directed you here...maybe to never return. Maybe you will never even read this. At any rate, God has used it to bring compassion for hurting souls like yourself. For that, I am thankful.
Just so you know, I'm praying for you.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Sweetheart banquet
On Saturday, married couples in our church were given a very special treat by the youth. We were given invitations to a sweetheart banquet, including childcare! Some of the youth watched the children at the home next door to the church while the others worked diligently at the church fixing a wonderful meal. We walked in to the church to find that all the pews had been removed and the sanctuary was transformed into an elegant and romantic room with white Christmas lights, individual card tables for each couple, candles, centerpieces, china place settings, ivy and greenery, and soft music. There was even a place for picture-taking. We had hors d'oeuvres, an excellent meal, coffee or a tea of choice and an individual heart-shaped cake for each couple with our names decorated on them. Wow. It was so much fun.
During the evening, the organizers of the banquet asked that each couple would give some advice about what has helped keep our marriages strong, for the benefit of each other as well as for the youth that hope to be married some day. Here is a list of those that I remember:
-guard your heart/thoughts (Positive thoughts of your spouse will bring you together. Fostering negative thoughts will drive you apart.)
-be spontaneous
-gratefulness of your marriage and your spouse
-have a repentant heart
-learn to communicate
-learn how to have joint responsibility (i.e. children, etc.)
-respect each other
-always leave with "I love you" and a kiss
-always say things in a way that builds up your spouse and does not tear down
-cherish the opportunity to learn more about one other person in this world more than any other
-remember why you married your spouse
-ask God to change your spouse-don't try to do it yourself
-be willing to change yourself
-continue to be sensitive like you were when you were courting
-do things together
-grow together, knowing that you will both change
What a wealth of advice! I appreciate the depth of knowledge and experience that couples who have been married longer than Keith and I have, and drink in the wisdom that they have gained. The ride of marriage is one that you get on at the altar and don't get off no matter what. It can be challenging and stretching at times, but having an attitude of never giving up is essential. I am grateful beyond measure for my husband and our marriage and I never want to take it for granted.
During the evening, the organizers of the banquet asked that each couple would give some advice about what has helped keep our marriages strong, for the benefit of each other as well as for the youth that hope to be married some day. Here is a list of those that I remember:
-guard your heart/thoughts (Positive thoughts of your spouse will bring you together. Fostering negative thoughts will drive you apart.)
-be spontaneous
-gratefulness of your marriage and your spouse
-have a repentant heart
-learn to communicate
-learn how to have joint responsibility (i.e. children, etc.)
-respect each other
-always leave with "I love you" and a kiss
-always say things in a way that builds up your spouse and does not tear down
-cherish the opportunity to learn more about one other person in this world more than any other
-remember why you married your spouse
-ask God to change your spouse-don't try to do it yourself
-be willing to change yourself
-continue to be sensitive like you were when you were courting
-do things together
-grow together, knowing that you will both change
What a wealth of advice! I appreciate the depth of knowledge and experience that couples who have been married longer than Keith and I have, and drink in the wisdom that they have gained. The ride of marriage is one that you get on at the altar and don't get off no matter what. It can be challenging and stretching at times, but having an attitude of never giving up is essential. I am grateful beyond measure for my husband and our marriage and I never want to take it for granted.
Friday, February 17, 2006
I'd be a perfect Mama if I didn't have children...
This goes right along with the doctor that said that he/she said they would be a great doctor if they didn't have patients and the pastor that exclaimed that he would be a wonderful shepherd if he didn't have a flock.
It's true.
The laundry would always be washed, folded and put away.
I would never discipline while still being angry.
I would always stop what I was doing, cheerfully, to read a story.
The house would always be in order, ready for unexpected guests.
There would be 3 course meals consistently.
I'd have personal Bible study notes in order and up-to-date.
I would let my children help me bake with great patience.
The school room would be in complete order and I would have lesson plans ready for the next month.
I would always recognize teachable moments.
My 1-year-old carrying around a toilet brush, AGAIN, would not ruffle my feathers.
I would always say sweetly, "Yes, honey, what do you need?"
I would quickly, and with deep compassion, enter my children's room many times a night when they called for me.
But I'm becoming more and more convinced that God gave my husband and I these treasures not as much for us to teach, mold and guide THEM, but for God to teach, mold and guide US. In fulfilling our roles as parents the worst in us inevitably comes out at times and as it does, it is quite a stench in His nostrils. He then gently (and sometimes not so gently-if that's what He needs to do to get our attention) reproves, corrects, disciplines, guides and teaches us so that we can be made more and more into His image.
When talking to soon-to-be mothers of their first child, I want to warn them that their time is no longer their own. When they want to read a book, sew, scrapbook, or go for a walk, but it will rarely happen. Listening without distraction to the sermon and taking notes (even being able to sit in the sanctuary at all some days) will go on the back burner. Just getting to sleep for that needed nap and then being rudely awakened by your child that refuses to sleep, will happen over and over again. That's just reality. Of course, as much as a soon-to-be parent wants to be prepared in every way, it doesn't work that way.
Bumps and bruises along this way called life bring growth. Struggle causes us to either run from God or cling ever so closer. So while I may have been a "perfect" mother without these children, God is using them to mold me more and more into His image. Ultimately, that's what I want more than anything else.
It's true.
The laundry would always be washed, folded and put away.
I would never discipline while still being angry.
I would always stop what I was doing, cheerfully, to read a story.
The house would always be in order, ready for unexpected guests.
There would be 3 course meals consistently.
I'd have personal Bible study notes in order and up-to-date.
I would let my children help me bake with great patience.
The school room would be in complete order and I would have lesson plans ready for the next month.
I would always recognize teachable moments.
My 1-year-old carrying around a toilet brush, AGAIN, would not ruffle my feathers.
I would always say sweetly, "Yes, honey, what do you need?"
I would quickly, and with deep compassion, enter my children's room many times a night when they called for me.
But I'm becoming more and more convinced that God gave my husband and I these treasures not as much for us to teach, mold and guide THEM, but for God to teach, mold and guide US. In fulfilling our roles as parents the worst in us inevitably comes out at times and as it does, it is quite a stench in His nostrils. He then gently (and sometimes not so gently-if that's what He needs to do to get our attention) reproves, corrects, disciplines, guides and teaches us so that we can be made more and more into His image.
"When we come to the edge of the light we know,Let's just say that I'm being taught to fly, and not always enjoying it. But that's part of the teaching process as well. He desires that I learn to fly, trusting Him, leaning on Him, and actually learning how to enjoy the process.
and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
of this we can be sure...
either God will provide something solid to stand on or...
we will be taught to fly."
When talking to soon-to-be mothers of their first child, I want to warn them that their time is no longer their own. When they want to read a book, sew, scrapbook, or go for a walk, but it will rarely happen. Listening without distraction to the sermon and taking notes (even being able to sit in the sanctuary at all some days) will go on the back burner. Just getting to sleep for that needed nap and then being rudely awakened by your child that refuses to sleep, will happen over and over again. That's just reality. Of course, as much as a soon-to-be parent wants to be prepared in every way, it doesn't work that way.
Bumps and bruises along this way called life bring growth. Struggle causes us to either run from God or cling ever so closer. So while I may have been a "perfect" mother without these children, God is using them to mold me more and more into His image. Ultimately, that's what I want more than anything else.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Attention to Detail
We received a letter from some new friends after Christmas.
It was so fun to open a hand-made envelope and a simple, but precious hand-made card, real hay and all.
I am really looking forward to getting to know them more. She sounds like a healthy eating expert and uses mostly organic ingredients. Right up my alley. (I am actually experimenting with stevia instead of sugar lately. It has been working great!) She wrote of investing time in interests that I have only heard of but have thought would be so neat, like planting a butterfly garden. Others are things that I plan to incorporate into our homeschooling, such as pressing flowers and plants for nature books and going on nature hikes. Because they live in Alaska next to the ocean, their nature hikes also include learning about the sea and muskeg. It sounds fascinating to me.
One of the most special parts of the letter was her attention to detail. Taking time to draw a picture of one of her favorite flowers and sealing the enclosed letter with melted red crayon...
It made an impression on me... her letter was genuine. It didn't feel like an obligation to respond to our letter. It expressed that we were important enough to spend time writing to.
I want to take the time to invest in details for those around me as well...especially for Keith and my children. I want them to know that they are special and they warrant my extra time. It is not an obligation for me to serve them, teach them, or spend time with them. It is a choice that I have made out of love. Details to express my care and God's love could easily extend to others...my neighbors, friends and those I come in contact with during my days. Details don't have to involve much. I know how much a smile from someone else I don't even know can brighten my day. It's such a simple thing...a detail.
Inviting a neighbor in for tea and cookies.
Writing a note of encouragement to a friend.
Taking time to make a newspaper boat with my children.
Holding a friend's baby for a few moments to give her a break.
Helping to pick up some merchandise that another shopper accidently knocked over.
Playing hide-and-seek with my children for 10 minutes.
Stopping to pray for a friend that comes to mind.
Details...
Lord, help me to incorporate more details for others into my days. I want to see others before myself...because when You walked this earth, that's what You did and I want to be like You, Lord. I want others to see You through me in the details of life. Thank you that You give strength to the weary, ideas to those who lack creativity, and vitality to the faint of heart. You are my example, Lord. I want to be like You.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Maureen
I'd like to tell you about an extraordinary lady. I met Maureen when I was working at Courage Center in Minneapolis as an occupational therapist. When I first saw Maureen come into the therapy room, I knew that I was going to enjoy working with her.
She told me that I could tell you all a bit about her, and I'm so glad that she did.
Maureen was born with osteogenesis imperfecta, more commonly known as brittle bone disease. She was also legally blind. As she grew up, she would get fractures from doing normal, everyday activities. She has had hundreds of fractures over the years.
She was in a freak accident in which she was in an elevator in her electric wheelchair. The door opened but the floor of the elevator was a good distance above the floor of the building. She wheeled out, not knowing the circumstances, and hit her head on the cement. This caused injuries similar to what happens to babies with shaken baby syndrome and she became totally blind in four days. This was especially devestaing since 10 years earlier she had had eye surgery which took her from bare light perception to almost 2200 vision allowing her to read, watch tv and use her eye sight for getting around.
Than two years later she was in an automobile accident in which she sustained multiple fractures and a spinal cord injury.
So this lady comes down the hall driving an electric wheelchair with a joystick in her right hand and guiding herself with a white cane that you usually see an ambulatory blind person use. It was quite a sight, let me tell you!
I soon found out that Maureen loved the Lord and was a very talented singer and song writer. When I met her, we were addressing some strategies and adaptive equipment options to assist her with the loss of some function in her arm which was making it difficult for her to use her wheelchair joystick, etc. and to try to figure out a way for her to play her guitar and piano again. I loved every minute of our time together.
We actually went to a Women Of God conference together and she wrote the song that I sang to my husband on our wedding day. Maybe I'll have this song available for you all to hear someday, but for now, I wanted to let you hear this song of Maureen's that a couple friends and I sang as a trio last summer.
For those of you that would like the words, here they are:
Only, only by Your grace, Lord, can we be redeemed.
Only, only thru Your blood, Lord, can we be made clean.
And only, only when we're empty, can we be made full.
Bridge:
We have tried to fill ourselves, but we are never satisfied.
We have tried to lead ourselves, but we are lost without our Guide.
When we stand in our own strength, we just fall upon our face,
For it's only by Your Spirit and it's only by Your grace.
"Only" Copyright 1996 Out Of The Door Music. Used with permission. If you like this song and want the music or want to hear more of Maureen's compositions contact maureensmusic@comcast.net.
She told me that I could tell you all a bit about her, and I'm so glad that she did.
Maureen was born with osteogenesis imperfecta, more commonly known as brittle bone disease. She was also legally blind. As she grew up, she would get fractures from doing normal, everyday activities. She has had hundreds of fractures over the years.
She was in a freak accident in which she was in an elevator in her electric wheelchair. The door opened but the floor of the elevator was a good distance above the floor of the building. She wheeled out, not knowing the circumstances, and hit her head on the cement. This caused injuries similar to what happens to babies with shaken baby syndrome and she became totally blind in four days. This was especially devestaing since 10 years earlier she had had eye surgery which took her from bare light perception to almost 2200 vision allowing her to read, watch tv and use her eye sight for getting around.
Than two years later she was in an automobile accident in which she sustained multiple fractures and a spinal cord injury.
So this lady comes down the hall driving an electric wheelchair with a joystick in her right hand and guiding herself with a white cane that you usually see an ambulatory blind person use. It was quite a sight, let me tell you!
I soon found out that Maureen loved the Lord and was a very talented singer and song writer. When I met her, we were addressing some strategies and adaptive equipment options to assist her with the loss of some function in her arm which was making it difficult for her to use her wheelchair joystick, etc. and to try to figure out a way for her to play her guitar and piano again. I loved every minute of our time together.
We actually went to a Women Of God conference together and she wrote the song that I sang to my husband on our wedding day. Maybe I'll have this song available for you all to hear someday, but for now, I wanted to let you hear this song of Maureen's that a couple friends and I sang as a trio last summer.
For those of you that would like the words, here they are:
Only, only by Your grace, Lord, can we be redeemed.
Only, only thru Your blood, Lord, can we be made clean.
Chorus:
There's no other way but through Jesus,
No other way we can be saved.
No other hope we can rely on,
Jesus is the only way.
And only, only when we're empty, can we be made full.
Bridge:
We have tried to fill ourselves, but we are never satisfied.
We have tried to lead ourselves, but we are lost without our Guide.
When we stand in our own strength, we just fall upon our face,
For it's only by Your Spirit and it's only by Your grace.
"Only" Copyright 1996 Out Of The Door Music. Used with permission. If you like this song and want the music or want to hear more of Maureen's compositions contact maureensmusic@comcast.net.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Logging Days
This weekend we went to Logging Days. It was cold, but the children loved it. We had a flapjack breakfast and then ventured out in the cold to get a taste of lumberjack life...with a few other activities inbetween. The above picture was on a sleigh ride. There were quite a few teams pulling wagons or sleighs and you could take as many rides as you wanted. We got in 4, but we could have just sat there all day and the children would not have gotten tired of it. It was definately the "hit" of the day.
This was the blacksmith demonstration. This talented guy is a friend of ours.
Here was one of the teams of horses that was preparing to skid a huge load of logs.
And...our youngest. It was a cold day, a bit below zero degrees, but Keith and I must have done alright bundling the children up with 2-3 layers, because even though we kept asking them if they were cold, they kept saying "no"...wanting to go back out and see the horses. Keith and I were the ones cold! We had to keep finding warm buildings so our feet could thaw out. Next year, I'm bringing a backpack with blankets.
Now our daughter is even more determined to want a horse of her own. Uhhh, weee'lll seeeee.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Personal Devotions
A few months back, I stumbled upon this post. Now, I don't know too much about Tim Challis other than what he states on his blog...he attends a Baptist church, is a web designer, etc., but I DO know that I have thoroughly appreciated his post about how he organizes his devotional times with the Lord. He begins with some of his thoughts before outlining the structure that he uses. I printed it off my use and have been using it for a couple months now...being very blessed.
I need to place a disclaimer here that being a stay-at-home mother with 3 small children brings along challenges for daily personal devotion time. Currently, I wait until my 13 month old is napping, tell the other two to play quietly and then I slip into my room for a few moments (with the door open to hear anything that would require action on my part!). I cannot get through the entire outline the way I would like on many days, but it is my goal to do so whenever I can and I think the Lord honors my attempts within the constraints of being a mother.
For awhile, we all had quiet time where I encouraged the children to spend the time looking at a picture Bible and talking to Jesus. I liked that, but it didn't always work like I wanted it to (i.e. their attention spans are obviously much shorter and I desired a longer quiet time). I plan to incorporate this again when they are a bit older. If your children can do this, by all means DO!! We have family devotions and do A LOT of reading of Bible stories throughout the day, answering question after question. At this point, they are getting quite a bit of "Bible time".
For now, I'm getting some time alone with Jesus and they are learning to respect that Mommy needs quiet time to talk to the Lord, which is good in and of itself.
My favorite part of the devotional structure changes every once in while. I have a journal/type notebook in which I have the names/characteristics of God listed alphabetically. I go over one letter's worth each day of the month so for 26 days out of a month, I have names/characteristics of God that I declare and meditate on in the "Delight in Him" section. I love the "repentance"/"speaking out longings" sections. I usually tie these together by declaring areas in which I repent followed by how I long to be. For instance, "Lord, I repent of my anger towards ______. Oh, how I long to be compassionate, loving, and patient!"
I also appreciate the overall outline. First praising God, then repenting, getting my heart in right standing with God, reading His Word, meditating on how to apply it to my life, and then praying for others.
This is a much longer "introduction" to the outline than I initially intended.
Enough said...other than to ask for anyone else's ideas for personal devotional time. I always appreciate hearing what works for others! Here's the outine:
1. In Jesus' Name
Begin your time of personal worship by acknowledging that it is only through Christ's merits that you can come before the Father. It is only through the work of Christ in which He took our sin upon Himself and satisfied the Father that we can now be accepted by God. Acknowledge your unworthiness and dependence on Him. In the spirit of the following verses, believe and trust that Christ died to be your Mediator to the Father. Thank Him for allowing you access to God.
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13)
For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. (Ephesians 2:18)
2. Delight in Him
Delight in the Lord, expressing your wonder of His greatness. Praise Him for who His is - for His character and attributes. Do not focus yet on the things He has done for you, but on His person and attributes. A good place to start as you mediate on Him may be with answer four of the Shorter Catechism, which asks "What is God?": "God is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth." You might also thank Him for His love, patience, kindness, goodness, knowledge and glory. Just thank and praise Him for being who He is!
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
3. Repentance
Have a time of personal repentance where you reflect on your own sin and shortcomings in the light of the perfect majesty of God. Confess and repent of specific sins, asking God to forgive you for them. Trust that He is faithful to do so and acknowledge your acceptance of His forgiveness.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
4. Express Your Longings
Express your deepest, most personal, most intimate longings to God. This is not a time to pray about everything you need or want or a time to bring your petitions before God. It is a time to make known to Him your deepest desires. This may include your desire for deeper fellowship with Him, for personal holiness, to "finish strong" and so on. Ephesians 1:15-23 may serve as a guide for this.
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for the living God. (Psalm 42:1,2)
5. Read a Psalm
Read a Psalm or a portion of a Psalm. Consider reading it out loud, remembering that Psalms were written as music and poetry. Praise God through your words.
6. Sing to the Lord
Sing a song to the Lord. You might consider singing a version of the Psalm you just read or singing a biblically-sound hymn or chorus by yourself or accompanied by a CD. You may prefer to make up your own song based on the Psalm you just read or any other passage of Scripture. If you are not a singer, consider reading or reciting a creed or reading a question and answer from a Catechism. Either way, allow this to be a brief time of heartfelt praise to God.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! (Psalm 100:1,2)
7. Study The Word
Having prepared your heart and removed any emphasis from yourself, it is now time to turn to the Bible.
Begin by asking the Spirit to illumine the Words you will read and to speak directly to your heart through His Word, "...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints..." (Ephesians 1:17,18)
Read with confidence that God is as eager to speak to you as you are to listen to Him. Turn to a passage, and preferably at least a chapter, of the Bible. Read it first as a whole and then in smaller pieces. Seek out the key verses and read them meditatively, continually seeking God's wisdom to help you understand. Reflect, contemplate, ponder them. Read with a view to understanding the sense and meaning of the passage. Then begin to apply the passage to yourself, asking how this truth relates to you. Ask the following questions of the passage:
Are there commands to obey?
Are there examples to follow?
Are there errors to avoid?
Are there sins to forsake?
Are there promises to claim?
Are there new thoughts about God?
Are there principles to live by?
You may wish to finish with a prayer of application, asking God to apply to your heart what you have learned.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1,2)
8. Intercede For Others
Bring before God the needs and concerns of others. You may wish to remember specifically:
Friends
Family members
The leadership of your church
The leaders of your nation
The unsaved
Missionaries
Those who have asked for prayer and those you have promised to remember in prayer
Those who are grieving or troubled
Those who have experienced disaster
Because you will find there are so many people to remember in prayer, you may wish to make a system of rotation where you pray for only several of the groups each day, remembering to include each group at least once per week. One system I have found helpful in organizing my prayers is to pray in "concentric circles," beginning with those who are closest to me and moving outwards to those I know only as acquaintances and then those I do not know at all.
Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you. (1 Samuel 12:23)
9. Petitions
Petition the Lord for other needs that you have not yet brought before Him. This is the time to make personal requests and desires known before Him. More than just remembering these before Him, ask Him specifically for guidance, deliverance, wisdom or endurance. Bring your petitions before Him with faith and humility, knowing that God loves to grant the desires of your heart.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (Jn. 16: 24)
10. Thanksgiving
Pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Be specific in thanking God for his forgiveness, goodness and providence. Thank Him for the time you have been able to spend with Him. Thank Him for speaking to your heart through the Scriptures you read earlier.
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15)
11. Place Your Day Before God
Place your day before the Lord, dedicating the day to His service. This is a good time to ask Him for specific opportunities to serve Him in sharing the Gospel and serving others. It may be helpful to go through your day chronologically, asking him for help, patience, guidance, faith and so on in specific areas. For example, you may ask Him for patience as you deal with your children, guidance as you examine job opportunities and wisdom as you share the Gospel with your neighbours. If you have your time of personal worship in the evening, place the next day before God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I need to place a disclaimer here that being a stay-at-home mother with 3 small children brings along challenges for daily personal devotion time. Currently, I wait until my 13 month old is napping, tell the other two to play quietly and then I slip into my room for a few moments (with the door open to hear anything that would require action on my part!). I cannot get through the entire outline the way I would like on many days, but it is my goal to do so whenever I can and I think the Lord honors my attempts within the constraints of being a mother.
For awhile, we all had quiet time where I encouraged the children to spend the time looking at a picture Bible and talking to Jesus. I liked that, but it didn't always work like I wanted it to (i.e. their attention spans are obviously much shorter and I desired a longer quiet time). I plan to incorporate this again when they are a bit older. If your children can do this, by all means DO!! We have family devotions and do A LOT of reading of Bible stories throughout the day, answering question after question. At this point, they are getting quite a bit of "Bible time".
For now, I'm getting some time alone with Jesus and they are learning to respect that Mommy needs quiet time to talk to the Lord, which is good in and of itself.
My favorite part of the devotional structure changes every once in while. I have a journal/type notebook in which I have the names/characteristics of God listed alphabetically. I go over one letter's worth each day of the month so for 26 days out of a month, I have names/characteristics of God that I declare and meditate on in the "Delight in Him" section. I love the "repentance"/"speaking out longings" sections. I usually tie these together by declaring areas in which I repent followed by how I long to be. For instance, "Lord, I repent of my anger towards ______. Oh, how I long to be compassionate, loving, and patient!"
I also appreciate the overall outline. First praising God, then repenting, getting my heart in right standing with God, reading His Word, meditating on how to apply it to my life, and then praying for others.
This is a much longer "introduction" to the outline than I initially intended.
Enough said...other than to ask for anyone else's ideas for personal devotional time. I always appreciate hearing what works for others! Here's the outine:
1. In Jesus' Name
Begin your time of personal worship by acknowledging that it is only through Christ's merits that you can come before the Father. It is only through the work of Christ in which He took our sin upon Himself and satisfied the Father that we can now be accepted by God. Acknowledge your unworthiness and dependence on Him. In the spirit of the following verses, believe and trust that Christ died to be your Mediator to the Father. Thank Him for allowing you access to God.
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13)
For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. (Ephesians 2:18)
2. Delight in Him
Delight in the Lord, expressing your wonder of His greatness. Praise Him for who His is - for His character and attributes. Do not focus yet on the things He has done for you, but on His person and attributes. A good place to start as you mediate on Him may be with answer four of the Shorter Catechism, which asks "What is God?": "God is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth." You might also thank Him for His love, patience, kindness, goodness, knowledge and glory. Just thank and praise Him for being who He is!
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
3. Repentance
Have a time of personal repentance where you reflect on your own sin and shortcomings in the light of the perfect majesty of God. Confess and repent of specific sins, asking God to forgive you for them. Trust that He is faithful to do so and acknowledge your acceptance of His forgiveness.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
4. Express Your Longings
Express your deepest, most personal, most intimate longings to God. This is not a time to pray about everything you need or want or a time to bring your petitions before God. It is a time to make known to Him your deepest desires. This may include your desire for deeper fellowship with Him, for personal holiness, to "finish strong" and so on. Ephesians 1:15-23 may serve as a guide for this.
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for the living God. (Psalm 42:1,2)
5. Read a Psalm
Read a Psalm or a portion of a Psalm. Consider reading it out loud, remembering that Psalms were written as music and poetry. Praise God through your words.
6. Sing to the Lord
Sing a song to the Lord. You might consider singing a version of the Psalm you just read or singing a biblically-sound hymn or chorus by yourself or accompanied by a CD. You may prefer to make up your own song based on the Psalm you just read or any other passage of Scripture. If you are not a singer, consider reading or reciting a creed or reading a question and answer from a Catechism. Either way, allow this to be a brief time of heartfelt praise to God.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! (Psalm 100:1,2)
7. Study The Word
Having prepared your heart and removed any emphasis from yourself, it is now time to turn to the Bible.
Begin by asking the Spirit to illumine the Words you will read and to speak directly to your heart through His Word, "...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints..." (Ephesians 1:17,18)
Read with confidence that God is as eager to speak to you as you are to listen to Him. Turn to a passage, and preferably at least a chapter, of the Bible. Read it first as a whole and then in smaller pieces. Seek out the key verses and read them meditatively, continually seeking God's wisdom to help you understand. Reflect, contemplate, ponder them. Read with a view to understanding the sense and meaning of the passage. Then begin to apply the passage to yourself, asking how this truth relates to you. Ask the following questions of the passage:
Are there commands to obey?
Are there examples to follow?
Are there errors to avoid?
Are there sins to forsake?
Are there promises to claim?
Are there new thoughts about God?
Are there principles to live by?
You may wish to finish with a prayer of application, asking God to apply to your heart what you have learned.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1,2)
8. Intercede For Others
Bring before God the needs and concerns of others. You may wish to remember specifically:
Friends
Family members
The leadership of your church
The leaders of your nation
The unsaved
Missionaries
Those who have asked for prayer and those you have promised to remember in prayer
Those who are grieving or troubled
Those who have experienced disaster
Because you will find there are so many people to remember in prayer, you may wish to make a system of rotation where you pray for only several of the groups each day, remembering to include each group at least once per week. One system I have found helpful in organizing my prayers is to pray in "concentric circles," beginning with those who are closest to me and moving outwards to those I know only as acquaintances and then those I do not know at all.
Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you. (1 Samuel 12:23)
9. Petitions
Petition the Lord for other needs that you have not yet brought before Him. This is the time to make personal requests and desires known before Him. More than just remembering these before Him, ask Him specifically for guidance, deliverance, wisdom or endurance. Bring your petitions before Him with faith and humility, knowing that God loves to grant the desires of your heart.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (Jn. 16: 24)
10. Thanksgiving
Pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Be specific in thanking God for his forgiveness, goodness and providence. Thank Him for the time you have been able to spend with Him. Thank Him for speaking to your heart through the Scriptures you read earlier.
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15)
11. Place Your Day Before God
Place your day before the Lord, dedicating the day to His service. This is a good time to ask Him for specific opportunities to serve Him in sharing the Gospel and serving others. It may be helpful to go through your day chronologically, asking him for help, patience, guidance, faith and so on in specific areas. For example, you may ask Him for patience as you deal with your children, guidance as you examine job opportunities and wisdom as you share the Gospel with your neighbours. If you have your time of personal worship in the evening, place the next day before God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
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