My heart is heavy

Today my heart aches.

Last night I found out that an acquaintance is at the last stages of cancer. Her battle is almost over. Despite the fact that this person hurt me in the past, I am grateful that today I have no ill feelings toward her. I only feel compassion. It is truly a gift from the Lord.

I called a special friend of mine to find out if she knew and if she wanted to come with me to visit this ailing lady. I was stunned by what I heard over the phone. My friend had been hurt by this lady. I don't know all the details, but I do know that I sensed deep anger and pain from my friend. She felt that she had been taken advantage of and despite her attempts at getting what she felt she deserved, the issue had not been resolved.

After her explanation of their minimal correspondence over the last year she said, "...so, no, I don't think that I'll go down to visit her."

Bitterness.

The thought of bitterness being so deep that someone would refuse to visit another that is close to death overwhelms me. My heart aches with the thought of her standing before the Lord on judgment day, having to account for her unforgiveness. And for what reason? Because something that she thought she had a right to has been withheld.

Am I holding such bitterness in my heart? Am I willing to give up what I think I have a right to for God's higher purposes? Am I trying to make another miserable to get "revenge" for how I have been hurt? I causes me to examine my heart...again.

I am praying that my friend will change her mind. Will you please pray with me for this friend?

Field Day

Last Friday was a milestone for my daughter. She was finally old enough to participate in Field Day. Our church hosts the track and field activities for homeschool families in our area. Families come from quite a distance to participate in this end-of-the-year event. In fact, that's one of the things that I appreciate about it...it's a family day. About 200 participants are registered with boy's events on one side of the church and girl's on the other. Then it's lunch time. Picnic baskets and blankets come out and everyone sits down with their family and enjoys the chance to be refreshed in the shade. (It was really hot for this cool weather gal.) Then in the afternoon, the girls and boys switch sides to complete the rest of the events.

Yes, there's competition, but I honestly don't think that that is the main focus of the day. Good Sportsmanship ribbons are available for everyone. The children are encouraged to do their best and just have fun. Despite this, my daughter was tickled to get 3rd place in the 100 yard dash. I was proud of her for trying her best in the other events that she participated in and I was proud that she took her ribbon status well. She wasn't gloating or anything. She was simply excited.

I know it's kind of hard to see the running 5 year olds for this 50 yard dash event, but my daughter is on the right side with Daddy at the end of the race cheering her on.

It was such a fun day.

Where do I want to be?

Yes, I'm still here. This last week has been a bit of a blur of activity and I want to write much about it, but first I want to write a synopsis of the message that we heard last night at church campout by Rick Rhodes, the guest speaker. Interestingly enough, this is the second time in a few months that my husband and I have heard similar messages on this passage/subject by two totally different preachers. It would seem that God is wanting to instill this message deep in our hearts, so that we do not faint and lose heart.

Rick explained that when he knows where he wants to get to via driving, he stays on the road, no matter what that road is like. If there is a detour because of road repair, he had better stay on the detour. If he decides to get off that road because it is too busy with semi-trucks and holiday traffickers, and heads off on a side road, that road may eventually become less than desirable with curves and poor pavement. So, he turns off on another road. Eventually, he is lost.

If you know where you want to go, you will stay on the road that you need to in order to get you there, even if it's bumpy, curvy, gravel or muddy. You will endure the hardship and discomfort, because you know the goal of where you want to be.

If you know where you are going, only one way will get you there. If you don't know where you are going, anywhere will get you there.

Prov 29:18
Where there is no vision, the people perish:
KJV

In Genesis 13, is the passage about Abram (later to be called Abraham) and Lot. There are getting to be too many people and herds by both men to be sustained by the land, so Abram tells Lot to choose whether he wants to go to the left or the right and Abram will go the other way.

Gen 13:10
And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.

KJV

Lot chose the land that looked good. It looked prosperous with worldly lusts. Therefore he turned his tent toward Sodom. He simply chose to head that way.

It did not take long before Lot was living in Sodom. It became his home. He had become comfortable, even though he was very aware of the sin around him. He strongly urged the angels to stay in his home instead of in the square of the city (Genesis 19:3). He wouldn't allow his guests to be exposed to the sin in his home town. Lot went outside, shutting the door behind him, so he could talk to the evil men of the city without the angels hearing. He was ashamed and embarrassed of the behavior of his neighbors. There was an element of secrecy. Lot was even willing to give the sodomite men his daughters for the night so they wouldn't harm his guests. How did he get to this spot in life where he was living amongst such gross sin and needed to shut the door behind him in secrecy?

In Genesis 19:12, it would seem that Lot had more than just two daughters. His sons-in-law would not come with when he pleaded with them to leave Sodom before it's destruction. The angels even had to seize the hands of Lot, his wife and his two daughters on the day of their exodus. They didn't want to leave. It was their home.

It was because of the compassion of the Lord (Genesis 19:16) that God led Lot, his wife and daughters out of Sodom.

Lot lost his wife. Why did she look back and turn to a pillar of salt even after being warned to not look back? It was her home. She was comfortable there. Everything she knew, not matter how sinful, was there. Sodom was her life.

How did Lot get to such a place? What happened to bring him to this? Lot's choice to turn his tent toward Sodom. He made the initial decision to turn toward that which was not best. Despite what Lot knew (he is even called righteous in Scripture), he made a choice based on the things of this world. It was a bountiful land and very prosperous. It looked good.

When God rained down fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah, it destroyed everything, even the valley that Lot initially turned toward; the valley that had initially looked so appealing to Lot. (Genesis 19:25) And another interesting tidbit from the 1st message that we heard on this, Genesis 19:25 is the first time "fire" is used in the Bible. Also, brimstone is sulfur and sulfur burns at 9000 degrees.

Lot turned off the straight and narrow road.

Matt 7:13-14
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

KJV

Rick took time to explain that decisions are not always just right and wrong. It is the question of good, better and best. Some of the decisions that we make are not really ones of right and wrong Scripturally. We can't always pick out a verse that says, "Thou shalt not __________". It becomes a question of where are we going and what is it going to take to get us there? The decisions and answers from the Lord may be different for different people.

For instance, if I wanted to raise very competitive, award-winning, athletes in my children, I would be starting the training for that right now. I would take them outside a couple times a day for vigorous activities. Sure, I would make it fun, but other things would have to be set aside because they wouldn't fit in with my goal. I wouldn't have time to learn gourmet cooking or teach my children the science of raising animals and learning to sew. My time would be filled with my goal of training them in athletics.

If my goal is to grow close as a family, instill Biblical truths in my children and share/exemplify my love and devotion to the Lord with them, my life choices will reflect that. If my goal is to be deeply rooted in Christ, that goal will take time and energy. Some things that I used to view as important will have to be put far down on my list of priorities. Some things will be put on the altar, killed and sacrificed in order that the things that I need to focus on to achieve my goal can be accomplished.

So what is your goal? What is mine? Seek the Lord in prayer. Read His Word. Seek Godly counsel. The Lord desires to tell us the direction in which we should set our tent. Do we want to hear His instructions, or do we want to go our own way?

Broccoli Cheese Soup and Blueberry Muffins

This is one of my favorite meals to make. Friends that come over for dinner will likely have this meal at least once.

The Broccoli Cheese Soup comes from my Sue Gregg: Soups and Muffins cookbook. I purchased the cookbook set about 8 years ago and they have been used consistently ever since. She has tons of nutritional information interspersed with the recipes. She uses honey and other natural sugar ingredients instead of refined white sugar and whole wheat and other grains instead of white flour. I highly recommend the cookbook set.

Broccoli Cheese Soup

Amount: 6 servings
1. Peel out edges of stalks and chop:
1 cup small broccoli florets (set aside)
4 cups broccoli stalks with remaining florets

2. (Optional for added flavor) Saute the 4 cups broccoli and onion in butter for 5 minutes:
3 tablespoons melted butter
1 onion, chopped

3. In soup pot heat broth to boiling; add vegetables and oregano, reduce heat and simmer until broccoli is tender:
7 cups Chicken broth
chopped broccoli and onion
3/4 teaspoon oregano leaves

4. While soup simmers, prepare cheese sauce for soup in small saucepan. Blend flour into butter until smooth, cooking 1 minute; gradually blend in milk, stirring with wire whisk over medium heat until thickened; blend in cheese until melted:
3 tablespoons melted butter
6 tablespoons flour
1 cup lowfat milk
2 cups grated cheddar cheese

5. Puree soup in blender, pour back into soup pot and blend in the cheese sauce

6. Steam the 1 cup broccoli florets about 5 minutes; add to soup just before serving

7.Season, as desired, with salt.

*I wrote this recipe out as written in the cookbook. I usually just saute all the broccoli with butter and onion and don't leave any out to steam at the end. We still like chunky soup, so I don't puree the soup all the way in the blender...just little spurts with the blender.

**Also, I use Frontier Herbs Chicken Broth Powder. It's a staple ingredient in our home. No MSG and great taste. I use a bit more of the powder than the package calls for cuz I love a very flavorful soup.

The blueberry muffin recipe comes from my grandmother. Where they live in Wisconsin there is a well-known "orchard" where there are a few acres of blueberry bushes bursting with huge blueberries each summer. It draws people from miles around.

My grandparents have the art of blueberry picking down to a science. First you take an old belt and put it around the handle of an ice cream bucket. Then fasten the end of the belt closed so you have a ice cream bucket necklace of sorts. Put it around your neck and you are ready for two-handed blueberry picking. Not only can you pick with two hands, but if you are really good, the bucket can be underneath your hands to catch the inevitable blueberry that falls inbetween your fingers. Much more efficient and less wasteful. :)

Getting as many blueberries as possible is challenging when you are trying to maintain blueberry picking etiquette. You see, picking is only open on Saturdays. There are hundreds of people there. You have to get to the "orchard" by 6:00-6:30 AM and then wait for the owners to signal that the pickers can head down the rows. After the owners relay a few directions, they give the green light. There is a wave of people, almost running, to their favorite spot from last year.

Despite the initial aggression, people are generally very kind and cheerful...almost giddy to be able to get their year's worth of blueberries in their freezer. Favorite blueberry recipes and the raving nuturitional benefits of the fruit are discussed across rows with complete strangers. These are memory making days.

Frozen Blueberry Muffins

4 cups flour
4 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup butter softened
2 cups sugar *
4 eggs
1 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups frozen blueberries

Topping:
2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp. nutmeg

Combine flour, baking powder and salt
Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, milk and vanilla
Stir in dry ingredients until moistened.
Fold in frozen blueberries
Fill muffin tins 2/3 full **
Combine sugar and nutmeg and sprinkle over muffins
Bake 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes
Cool 10 minutes before removing to wire rack
Yield 2 dozen

*I usually cut the sugar by 1/3-1/2 the amount called for in this recipe

**I really don't like to clean muffin tins, so I usually put it in a greased 9 X 13 pan, put the oven at 325 degrees and let it bake for 1 hour and 10 min. or so. I just use a toothpick to know when the middle is done.

Enjoy!!

Flowers

This past weekend we went to see family. Here are some of the beauties that I was able to take pictures of.


This hanging basket of fuscias was outside the back door.

These were planted in an old tree stump. I guess they are some new kind of daisy.

I really enjoy pansies and this one just seemed so cute. Multicolored pansies filled the large, home-made wheelbarrow.

And the tulips! They were planted in a row near the road and are a sure show-stopper! If I remember correctly, 100 bulbs were planted here.

Holiness and Sanctification

Rom 12:11
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
KJV

Eph 1:4
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
KJV

1 Peter 1:16
6 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
KJV

Holiness, so far as it appears in man, is an outcome of God's gracious work in salvation and yet not without the proper exertion of one's own free will and the putting forth of strenuous effort (Eph 4:22-24).
(from The New Unger's Bible Dictionary. Originally published by Moody Press of Chicago, Illinois. Copyright (c) 1988.)

There have been times in which I have relayed to another that I am struggling with an area of sin in my life, a lack of holiness. Occasionally, I have gotten the response, "You are being too hard on yourself. Don't you know who you are in Christ? There is freedom in Christ!"

So I have asked myself the questions, "Am I viewing myself too harshly?", "How then shall we view ourselves?" It would appear that there are two extremes that people can portray. One side views themselves as lower than dirt, with no value in themselves, almost hopeless for any chance of victory over sin. The other side views themselves free from every bondage in this life and therefore is free to live how they please.

This has caused me to delve into the meaning of sanctification.

"The more holy a man is, the more humble, self-renouncing, self-abhorring, and the more sensitive to every sin he becomes, and the more closely he clings to Christ. The moral imperfections which cling to him he feels to be sins, which he laments and strives to overcome. Believers find that their life is a constant warfare, and they need to take the kingdom of heaven by storm, and watch while they pray."
(from Easton's Bible Dictionary, PC Study Bible formatted electronic database Copyright © 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.)

So, after we repent of our sins, turn to Christ and surrender our lives to Him, is that the end of the story? Is it simply a get-out-of-jail-free card that gives us license to live how we want, taking advantage of His grace, mercy and forgiveness?

"God is a God of grace, you know."

Rom 6:1-2
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
God forbid.
KJV

(Just for clarification...Yes, there IS grace for the one that has their heart towards God, that is repentant of their sin and is willing to change their sinful ways. Grace, mercy and forgiveness are phenominal aspects of God that we should never forget and should cause us to be in awe of His goodness.)

I have heard it said that when a person gives their heart to Christ, that is not the end, it is the beginning and now the hard work begins. I agree. I have experienced it.

Some have witnessed to unbelievers by saying, "Come to Christ. It will bring you peace and happiness." I would submit that though God wants us to be happy, He is much more concerned with our holiness. It is through holiness that we can experience true joy and peace with God.

It is [Paul's] constant and compelling moral appeal: You belong to Christ; live with Him, live unto Him (Col 3:1-4; 1 Thess 5:10). It is no formal belonging, no external surrender. It is the yielding of the life in its passions and purposes, in its deepest affections and highest powers, to be ruled by a new spirit (Eph 4:13,20,23-24,32; compare Rom 12:1).
(from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, Electronic Database Copyright (c)1996 by Biblesoft)

There is a yielding, a surrendering, of our hearts and will to His. It is dying to self. We are no longer our own. We were bought with a price. That takes effort and is usually quite uncomfortable. But here is the exciting part:

Now the Christian's surrender is not to an outer authority but to an inner, living fellowship. The sanctified life is thus a life of personal fellowship lived out with the Father in the spirit of Christ in loving trust and obedient service. This positive and vital meaning of sanctification dominates Paul's thought. He speaks of living unto God, of living to the Lord, and most expressively of all, of being alive unto God (Rom 14:8; compare 6:13; 2:19). So completely is his life filled by this fellowship that he can say, "It is no longer I that live, but Christ liveth in me" (Gal 2:20).
(from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, Electronic Database Copyright (c)1996 by Biblesoft)

We are not surrendering to a totally authoritarian, impersonal God. Christ is IN us as believers!

Now, are we to be perfect as soon as we are saved? The standard that we are called to live is high. We are called to holiness, to be like Christ, who is perfect. Our salvation is instantaneous, yet, sanctification is a process. The question becomes not only are you moving forward or backward in relation to Christ, but are you moving at all? Is there a hunger for more of Him, more righteousness, more compassion for the lost, more love? And, do you grieve when that's not within you?

The question is not simply, Is this man sinner or saint? It is rather, What is he becoming? This matter of becoming is the really vital issue. Is this man turned the right way with all his power? Is his life wholly open to the divine fellowship? Not the degree of achievement, but the right attitude toward the ideal, is decisive.
(from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, Electronic Database Copyright (c)1996 by Biblesoft)

So it is a process, lived out with effort on our part. What is it that I heard one time? "Sitting in church doesn't make you a Christian any more that being in a garage makes you a car."

Jesus even had to put forth effort to surrender His will to the Father's in the Garden of Gethsemane. He sweated drops of blood in the process, but when the part of Christ that was fully man totally surrendered to the Father, there was peace, obedience and steadfastness to do the most difficult thing this world has ever known.

All is from God; we can only live what God gives. But there is a converse to this: only as we live it out can God give to us the life. This appears in Paul's teaching as to sanctification. It is not only God's gift, but our task. "This is the will of God, even your sanctification" (1 Thess 4:3). "Having therefore these promises .... let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness (hagiosune) in the fear of God" (2 Cor 7:1). Significant is Paul's use of the word "walk." We are to "walk in newness of life," "by (or in) the Spirit," "in love," and "in Christ Jesus the Lord" (Rom 6:4; Gal 5:16; Eph 5:2; Col 2:6). The gift in each case becomes the task, and indeed becomes real and effective only in this activity. It is only as we walk by the Spirit that this becomes powerful in overcoming the lusts of the flesh (Gal 5:16; compare 5:25). But the ethical is the task that ends only with life. If God gives only as we live, then He cannot give all at once. Sanctification is then the matter of a life and not of a moment. The life may be consecrated in a moment, the right relation to God assumed and the man stand in saving fellowship with Him. The life is thus made holy in principle. But the real making holy is co-extensive with the whole life of man. It is nothing less than the constant in-forming of the life of the inner spirit and outer deed with the Spirit of Christ until we, "speaking truth in love, may grow up in all things into him, who is the head" (Eph 4:15).
(from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, Electronic Database Copyright (c)1996 by Biblesoft)

Whew! That gets me excited. As I step forward towards God in surrender to His will, He provides the strength and power to follow through. As I die to my desire to lash out in anger and frustration at my children and choose to talk and listen and correct in love, God provides the strength to do just that. As that hurdle becomes easier I then desire more. It may be a desire to smile instead of frown, to let my children know how much they are loved, accepted and appreciated. I have to put forth effort to raise the edges of my mouth, but as I do, He gives the power to do so in sincerity.

When my flesh cries out, "I WANT IT MY WAY!!", I must choose to do right. I must choose to die to myself and hand over that spot within me to Christ. Then His strength comes and holiness is given prominence over fleshly desires.

...and then He smiles.

Charlotte and feathered friends

Today an apparently overdue mother robin was on the front lawn. She could hardly jump to find more worms. Poor thing. I remember those days of feeling so large with child that I could barely move. The ground seemed immensly far away and if I did venture down there, I stayed there.

Then I was treated to seeing our first oriole at our feeder! It's a bit hard to get other things accomplished when I'm constantly running over to look at the feeder, hoping to get another glimpse.

And Charlotte... Yes, I feel like Wilbur. I think she came in the house on some "flowers" my daughter brought me that are sitting on the kitchen window sill. Charlotte made the most beautiful web across my kitchen window. I couldn't bring myself to obliterate this creature. Then the other day I looked again and the previous web was all gone and a new one was made. She was sitting in the middle of it. I called my children in and hitched them up to see God's marvelous creation.

"Can you see all those little strings?"

"Isn't that amazing?"

Maybe it's the homeschooling mother inside of me that takes moments like this and exponds on them. I want my children to see the wonder of God's creation and to notice the details of life. It's all an opportunity to learn more of Him.

So, for the time being, Charlotte is safe. Any other crawling things are fair game.

Buy/sell homeschool curriculum

Sagerats is having a contest to help promote The HSB County Fair where you can sell and buy used curriculum, EVEN teacher edition's/guide's/answer key's, with no host percentage fees!

Lovin' His creation

This is our pond, er... swamp. It all depends on the time of year and how much rain we've had. Currently the "peepers" are in full swing and the noise at night is almost deafening. In fact, my daughter said that they were hurting her ears.

This weekend we had some friends over whose children know the art of catching tadpoles. While we watched through the window, they had a marvelous time. Next thing we knew, there was a plastic cup full of small morphing critters on the dining room table. My children tried it on their own today. No tadpoles, but they enjoyed the attempt immensely.

We also may have a new couple on the premises. We've seen a Mr. and Mrs. Duck a few times. I tried to take a picture of Mr. Duck today. Here's me without camoflage duds walking out in the open, trying to "sneak up" on my feathered friend. Of course he swam to the protection of some weeds. I hid behind the tree for quite some time. Finally he came out. I pulled out my camera ever so quietly, ready. Just as I was about to take a picture, he took to flight. Ah. Maybe I'll try again after I have my camo outfit made. :) Regardless, it is such a joy to look out my kitchen window and see them swimming about.


Here are my chilins bouncing on a tree branch. This popple tree fell down across our driveway and my husband just cut it off and was hauling it away when they asked him to leave it so they could play on it. Gotta love God's playground.

Homeschool supply giveaway

Spunky is giving away a Benz Microscope and Apologia Biology Set this week. Click Here to get the details.

What a great opportunity to have a chance at getting some homeschooling supplies! I have a microscope that was given to me when I was a child, but we recently took it out and, let's just say, it's not in the best working condition! I have also looked at the Apologia science curriculum many times and it looks to be simply excellent.

Spunky Homeschool is one of those blog sites that I really appreciate. There have been times that I have learned of current events in relation to homeschooling and family issues faster from reading her blog than listening to public radio or online news. I remember one time my husband came home and said, "Did you hear about ______?" Yep, I had. A couple days before!

I encourage you to check out her blog if you haven't before. Even if you don't always agree with her opinion (And I don't agree with every opinion- for instance, I want to make a distinction between the educational system as a whole and individual teachers. My mother was a public school teacher and so is my sister and brother-in-law. I know that they were and are excellent, caring teachers with the student's best in mind. On the other hand, the public educational "system" has much to be desired in my opinion. Enough said for now. ...just to clarify :) ), you will be challenged in your thoughts regarding homeschooling and family life, AND she does a great job of keeping all of us up to date on current legislation, trends, and things to look for pertaining to homeschooling.

The blessing of a miracle

Yesterday I was able to witness a miracle. I had the opportunity to hold a tiny bundle with tiny fingers and tiny toes. Her mama and papa were completely enthralled with her. And rightly so. She is beautiful. The cries of a newborn are so unique. I remember my mother saying to me after hearing a baby's cry, "That's a very little one." This wee one cried but a few times. She didn't need to. Her needs were completely met. She was warm, fed and close to the ones that have loved and prayed for her for 9 months already. They were so anxious to see her.

"Can you believe that she's really here?"
"Isn't she beautiful?"
"Hush honey. Mama's here."

What a miracle.

I'm looking forward to seeing her grow into the person the God made her to be. She will change so many times. Her looks will change. Her personality will develop.

I told her mama that those feelings of, "She's really my baby!" don't necessarily go away. Just the other day I was looking at my 16 month old son as someone else was holding him. He looked different...again. Changing. Had his face thinned out? Was the skin pulled around his eyes differently? I couldn't put my finger on it, but the thought came to mind again, "He is really my son."

It's the same with all my children. I look at my daughter with her soft, fine features or my 3 year old son as he plays with other boys and think, "Wow. That is my child."

What an amazing blessing to care for the children that God loans to us! What an awesome responsibility. What a privilege.

Thank you Lord for the miracle of these blessings that you have placed in our care. May we treasure them and delight in them. Please help me not to lose perspective and never take for granted Your gifts from heaven.