I'd be a perfect Mama if I didn't have children...

This goes right along with the doctor that said that he/she said they would be a great doctor if they didn't have patients and the pastor that exclaimed that he would be a wonderful shepherd if he didn't have a flock.

It's true.

The laundry would always be washed, folded and put away.
I would never discipline while still being angry.
I would always stop what I was doing, cheerfully, to read a story.
The house would always be in order, ready for unexpected guests.
There would be 3 course meals consistently.
I'd have personal Bible study notes in order and up-to-date.
I would let my children help me bake with great patience.
The school room would be in complete order and I would have lesson plans ready for the next month.
I would always recognize teachable moments.
My 1-year-old carrying around a toilet brush, AGAIN, would not ruffle my feathers.
I would always say sweetly, "Yes, honey, what do you need?"
I would quickly, and with deep compassion, enter my children's room many times a night when they called for me.

But I'm becoming more and more convinced that God gave my husband and I these treasures not as much for us to teach, mold and guide THEM, but for God to teach, mold and guide US. In fulfilling our roles as parents the worst in us inevitably comes out at times and as it does, it is quite a stench in His nostrils. He then gently (and sometimes not so gently-if that's what He needs to do to get our attention) reproves, corrects, disciplines, guides and teaches us so that we can be made more and more into His image.

"When we come to the edge of the light we know,
and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
of this we can be sure...
either God will provide something solid to stand on or...
we will be taught to fly."

Let's just say that I'm being taught to fly, and not always enjoying it. But that's part of the teaching process as well. He desires that I learn to fly, trusting Him, leaning on Him, and actually learning how to enjoy the process.

When talking to soon-to-be mothers of their first child, I want to warn them that their time is no longer their own. When they want to read a book, sew, scrapbook, or go for a walk, but it will rarely happen. Listening without distraction to the sermon and taking notes (even being able to sit in the sanctuary at all some days) will go on the back burner. Just getting to sleep for that needed nap and then being rudely awakened by your child that refuses to sleep, will happen over and over again. That's just reality. Of course, as much as a soon-to-be parent wants to be prepared in every way, it doesn't work that way.

Bumps and bruises along this way called life bring growth. Struggle causes us to either run from God or cling ever so closer. So while I may have been a "perfect" mother without these children, God is using them to mold me more and more into His image. Ultimately, that's what I want more than anything else.