I settled on the energetic conversation that my husband and I had with another couple on Saturday. What began as an apparent deep difference in theological stances, ended as a realization of a misunderstanding from 2+ years ago. We actually are on the same page and view things quite similarly. Ah, what a blessing! It has been amazing to me to ponder this conversation and realize again how people can be looking at the same principle and view it from such different angles. It is ripe for misunderstanding, but if discussed respectfully, the discussion can be immensely valuable.
Of course conflict does not always resolve itself as this one did. Over the years, there have been many instances in which our decisions and views have not been popular and have been misunderstood. We have been accused, labeled and ridiculed. For one such as me that grew up cringing at the hint of conflict, it has not been the most comfortable thing to take the stances that we have. Yet, I will have to say that it has strengthened me beyond what I ever thought possible. No longer does it work to explain our decisions as, "Just because." We have studied, prayed, sought counsel and prayed some more. We don't have to have an opinion on each and every topic out there, but the ones that we do, we have done some homework. So, when someone comes with a different perspective, we have something to add to the conversation. At other times, the Holy Spirit's still, small voice has prompted us to not speak.
My view of conflict has changed over the years. I now try to see it as a positive exercise. You see, if my husband and I truly love the Lord more than being "right", we will want Truth more than anything else. As we are challenged on something, it causes us to draw closer to Him, study the Word more, talk to each other and PRAY. In this way, the challenges or accusations, as they may be, will either strengthen us in our convictions or change us more to His glory. Either way, it's good.
This is not to say that I never get a knot in my stomach, but I will say that the conversation that we had this weekend was one of my favorite moments of the entire weekend. I was thrilled that we could converse about apparent opposite viewpoints respectfully and learn about each other. I felt like we all grew a bit during the process.
Inevitably, there are times when it is best to simply agree to disagree. Being at peace in such as instance in a gift in and of itself.
I am learning to rest in Him more and more during times of conflict, trusting in Him and not the wisdom of this world. To hide under the shadow of His wings... there's no better place to be.
Ps 63:7Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy
wings will I rejoice.KJV
7 comments:
Thanks so much for this post. Many times it feels like we are on a different page than so many more of our fellow believers. And this sunday a meeting is planned for the adults to express their hearts on matters of worship and congregational life and being a missional community of believers in our community. This has been my church for 65 years, and I have always said I will not be a person to change churches when things cause a knot in my stomach. But, today I need more of His grace to follow through. bty, We were priviledged to hear Val speak in our area last week for the first time and I met him. Bless his heart. Thanks again for the encouragement.
Jim,
Yes. It seems that there are some out there who thrive on conflict. I would guess that most don't, yet being willing to stand on what we believe and know why we believe what we do is essential in our walk with Christ. May God grant you strength and wisdom as you prepare for this meeting. The wisdom that you have gained through the years is of exceptional value and I pray that those that are younger than you will honor your views and your experiences.
Isn't Val and his family VERY special?! We are thankful to have them back in our midst again for a few months.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by my blog and comment!
"EVERY conflict is an opportunity to glorify God."
That paradigm shifts everything, doesn't it? ~warm smile~
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Warmly,
Ann (HolyExperience)
Hmmm... I love that. Our response to conflict definately speaks volumes.
I sure appreciate you, Ann. Your example, your love for life, your view of God. Thank you for being you.
Even in situations where you think there is no conflict, it will wheedlt its way in, and oh how Satan loves to use it to cause heart ache and dispute and bring shame on the name of Christ. We are never going to agree on everything...after all we are imperfect. Thank you for those thoughts. They are oh so true. I think that if people took as much time to seriously consider issues rather than 'jumping on the band waggon because it is the current point of view' they would actually have less dispute and a more godly, biblical view of things. Sadly, so much of our 'contention' is fuelled by wordly attitudes that have swept into the church. I too dislike conflict, andfind it especially hard to deal with among the Lord's people. After all, are we not all saved by grace, and loved by God? How much we fail to show the same love and understandng to fellow believers. Role on eternity when all truths shall be revealed without recrimination. Hmmmm, think I've gone on a bit too much now!
Cretora, yes I can totally relate to wanting run far from conflict. I don' think that I will ever be totally at ease with it myself.
Susanna,thank you for your thoughts. Conflict between those that love the Lord is such a hard thing. Yet, iron does sharpen iron. If we know how to carefully and respectly "discuss", how beneficial it potentially can be! Yep, I'm looking forward to Heaven where everyone will be on the same page...worshipping Him!
Great great great post. Um, did I mention that this post was great?
lol...
The lazy part of me wants to avoid having to deal with opposing viewpoints. The wise part of me is willing to wade in. It might be messy and sometimes uncomfortable, but then again, growth usually is.
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