I will never forget the advice and wisdom that I was given a few years ago. My son, though a very happy child, was going through something...teething, stomach ache...something. As someone said recently about her daughter, he was not fit to be around.
In response to my story of woe, she told me of her experience with her first child. He was a few months old and was waking up every hour all through the day and night to nurse... and he nursed for half an hour. She, being a new mom, didn't know what to do. She was exhausted and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He'd wake up screaming, she'd feed him and he'd stop screaming. "He must be hungry." She'd lay him down. He'd wake up 1/2 hour later screaming. She'd nurse him and he'd stop screaming. "He must have been hungry." Over and over and over.
She was relaying her story of woe to whom she called a "wise older lady", who said to her:
"I want you to go to the cemetary. Walk all through it... looking at all the gravestones, especially the ones of the children that died in infancy
...not a one of them died from crying."
She learned to train him to sleep longer between feedings. She was actually giving him a stomach ache from feeding him so often.
Lest you think that I took this advice as permission to not care and comfort my child, I am learning more and more about sacrifice on behalf of my children. That is God's plan for mothers...it's one of the ways He molds us, shapes us, prunes us, and bring's us closer to the image of Christ. My desires need to take a back seat. I need to place God, my husband and my children before myself. Dying to self...
That said, there are times in life (which seem like eternity at the time) in which my child cannot be comforted or needs to be trained to sleep for longer segments of time...and I am exhausted and can't think clearly anymore...I am reminded that he will not die from crying and after I get a short reprieve, I will be a much better mama.
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5 comments:
Having a rough day?
Actually, today is going pretty well compared to the last two. I might get to work on my curtains...pray for me! :o)
Heidi,
It was nice to see you yesterday for a bit! I thought I'd tell you something that struck me as quite funny.
I had a nice long conversation with your Laura...what a sweet girl, you must be a good mama. Anyway, I asked her how old she was, and she said she was four. . . "and my next birthday I'll be five." Then, she told me, she was going to keep getting older, and get married. I wasn't sure I'd heard right but I took her completely seriously.
"You're getting married?" I asked her.
"Uh huh." She nodded. Naturally curious I went on.
"When?"
Laura pondered this for a moment. "When I'm....20!" She said confidently.
(I decided not to ask if she knew who she'd marry yet.) :)
However, I did ask her if 20 was a good age to get married, she said yes. I told her that I'm almost 20, and wondered if she thought I should get married. She wasn't so sure about that one, and thought probably I better not. :)
Laura, That's funny...she can't stop talking about getting married lately! It was great to see you, even though it was REALLY short.
Laura wanted to tell you that she liked hearing you sing on Sunday. She's also curious about the picture that you took of her.
sfghabhgtreyfsdfgyuiilatytttghyuyhjgvgvgggchgftrewqaszxyg---signed Laura (she wanted to write a note to you herself)
I have 4 grown children and 8 (going on 9) grandchildren and I still have a difficult time hearing a child cry. I think it's just born in most women. But,the advice you received was biblical... there is a Proverb that says...
Pro 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
I guess the Lord knows that we needed that exhortation! :-)
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