Failing Well

Almost every parent I know wants to learn how to parent better. We want to instill Godly character and help our children learn of the Lord and help to guide them in the ways of Truth. We want them to love God and love others, be a light in the spiritual darkness and a role model such that they would help others up instead of pull them down. We want them to be compassionate and generous no matter how tired they are.

Most often, the counsel is, "Your children will observe you. You need to be the example." So, if they see despair, they will learn despair. If they see anger, they will learn to be angry. If they see compassion, they will learn to be compassionate. If they see hope, they will learn to be hopeful. Can't disagree with this...I have seen it. In fact, this has been one of my biggest frustrations about myself. If I don't respond correctly, how can I expect them to respond correctly?

But, what if it was possible for parents to be absolutely perfect in their responses and reactions from the time the children were born. Would the children grow up to be perfect?

Of course not.

This was asked one time during one of these discussions and it brought about the point that each person has to grow to make good and Godly decisions on their own. We are all fallen creatures needing a Savior, born with a sinful nature needing redemption.

So then, the question becomes, what would be a better example, even than being the "perfect" parent? Our conclusion was that we, as parents, need to learn how to fail well.

It takes a lot of humility to say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" to your 4 year old, but what are they learning? They are learning that we all fail and when we do, we need to repent and ask for forgiveness. They begin to be exposed to how to forgive. They start to learn why we all need a Savior.

My children have always forgiven me. No matter how difficult it may be to humble myself and admit that I was wrong, it feels so good afterward... and I'm glad they see that.