Beginnings- Part 1 of testimony

Being inspired by "Just a Daisy in the Meadow" and her husband's blog, "In His Image", I've been encouraged to share my journey with the Lord. This may come in increments due to length, but hopefully will be an encouragement to you as well.

Growing up in a small town in Wisconsin, I remember playing at "Ford Tractor" that my dad co-owned. We'd swing on the hanging chains that were meant to hold up engines while rolling on creepers that the mechanics used to slide under the tractors. We had a fort on top of my dad's office and we invariably came home black with grit and grease. These were the days when I would ride with Dad in the implement truck down to Iowa to get a new tractor and jump over and over in the piles of leaves that my mom had raked in our back yard in the Fall. I remember taking swimming lessons in our town lake and shivering beyond recovery it seemed, especially the older I became as my lessons were scheduled earlier in the mornings. Roller skating on the road with my friend was fun, but blacktop is not the smoothest thing to skate on and my legs would tingle for and hour afterward from the constant vibration. Those were the days of me driving our skidsteer out to our land outside the city limits to cut wood and riding our horse, Dandy.

I grew to love riding bike and raced along the road near our house so fast that neighbors told my parents that they thought that I would have a mighty crash someday. I did have some spills, but none that I remember being very significant.

In high school, I hung out with the "shop guys" and eventually started dating one. He loved his Chevy stepside pickup and dragracing. I was along for the ride. I remember wrenches flying across the old barn that he used for his garage when the carburator was not adjusted correctly AGAIN. He liked to snowmobile, but it always seemed to make him angry when it wouldn't work right or it quit.

I walked with him through the woods as he hunted for pheasant. I had never been hunting before. When he shot one, I had to carry it back. I really didn't like the idea of carrying it, especially when it apparently wasn't totally dead and it moved! I screamed...I couldn't help it. When we got home, he set it on the step until his mom was ready to cook it. We happened to look out the window to see a fox running across the field with it in it's mouth. He was mighty upset, let me tell you!

When he said that he wanted to get married after we had dated for 2 1/2 years, I panicked a bit. I had stayed in the relationship for convenience, not for love. I always had somewhere to go and someone to be with while I dated him, but I didn't love him and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were not to be married.

I also worked at a local meat market at this time and so my time was full with dating and working. I felt needed and appreciated at work and was very devoted. I didn't care how many hours I put in and I would even look for additional things to do so I didn't have to leave. In some ways it felt like home. After I made the final break from dating, I put even more time into work and started drinking.

The ironic thing was that I was also the youth group leader at my church and was in the church choir. I remember people telling me there what a model Christian I was. I was a bit proud of myself that I could live two worlds so well and apparently fool everyone. I will never forget Margaret Olson though. She was one of the adult leaders of our youth group and battled with cancer. She passed away, but I remember that she was the one who helped me memorize Psalm 23 and there was something special about how she talked about heaven...