Always wanting more

I know that I'm kind of late getting into this discussion, but there is quit a hubbub about this article. Two articles were written, one by a man and the other by a woman, regarding career women. There are quite a few people talking about it with a wide variety of opinions. If you are interested in reading what other bloggers and their commenters are saying, I know of three: here, here, and here.

As I have been pondering this, various things have come to mind. A verse came to remembrance today that I think relates to this whole issue.

Gen 3:6
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of
the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he
did eat.
KJV

I have a notation in my Bible above this verse, "We as women are always wanting more- more wisdom, more knowledge, more things." Eve desired more and it cost her...deeply. So wanting more is nothing new. It was around with the first lady on earth.

I painfully know that this is true for me. I am always wanting more and frustrated with myself over my discontentment. One commenter mentioned how they know of many housewives that are pushing and pushing for their husbands to the brink of exhaustion to bring home more money so that they can have more of what they want. Ouch.

On the other hand, there are others out there commenting that women want it all. They want the perfect family, with a homemade meal on the table, to have their children involved in every activity under the sun, every gadget and gizmo, and have a very "fulfilling" career outside the home. The argument is that women can't have it all and something needs to give. Of course there are others that say that women should be able to have it all.

I appreciated what Spunky had to say about her heart, focus and goals being towards home both before, during and after her children have left home. Some say they can do this while having a full-time career, but I know that I can't.

In Molly's post, and in subsequent comments, it is clear that it isn't popular in conservative Christian circles to mention that you aren't feeling 100% fulfilled as a SAHM (Stay at home mother). There was a sense of relief by some commenters that it's OK to even say such a thing. Being a SAHM IS hard and doesn't always feel fulfilling. If you allow your thoughts to go down that hole, you can feel down-right trapped. But if you acknowledge that your role is a God-given one and challenge yourself in developing the "art" of homemaking (and homeschooling, if you have decided to do that), it is very fulfilling and takes much creativity and effort.

One other point that was brought up that caught my eye was that we shouldn't try to fit into a man-made idea of what a woman's role is. We need to follow what God calls each of us to do. OK. It sounds good and there is definitely an element of truth there. My first red-flag is that God would never call us to do something that goes against His Word. God does call women to be keepers at home. Granted there is a wide spectrum of opinions regarding what that entails, but caution is needed, that is for sure. It would be quite easy for someone to have an unGodly desire and twist it to say, "God called me to this."

When I was working in my favorite position at an occupational therapist, was I 100% fulfilled? No. Even then I wanted more. I loved that job and it still holds warm, fuzzy feelings for me, but was it my all-in-all? Absolutely not. I still wanted to be married, to have a family, live out in the boondocks and be self-sufficient.

There are sacrifices for goals. Just a few months ago, my husband and I seriously discussed my taking a part-time therapist position. It was good money and we reasoned that it would be good for me to maintain my therapy skills and help us in some other goals we have. But the many details for it to work, just didn't and in our hearts, we realized that it was not God's plan, at least for the time-being with situations as they are. It was after this realization, that I was talking to a well-meaning, professional lady who works in public education. She encouraged me to consider a part-time job so that it was easier for me to homeschool as I would get "out" a bit. I thought of this much during my wrestling over the job option and could tell her with confidence that having a job outside the home would NOT make it easier for me. I would just be heaping on more responsibility on myself and my husband that we didn't need. All of a sudden there would be babysitter scheduling, what to do if the children were sick, planning meals when I'm gone, trying to have a meal on the table for supper after working all day, trying to schedule homeschooling into a shorter week... No, it wouldn't make things easier. It would make things harder. There are sacrifices to make and seasons of life to realize and embrace.

It seems that this notion of women always wanting more is not a totally bad thing...if it is desiring more of God and what He wants. It is the wanting of more of God, a deeper relationship with Him, a more consistent Christian walk, a deeper understanding of Scripture, a more intimate worship of Him throughout my day, wanting to love Him more by practically loving my family more...it is in not being satisfied with my walk with the Lord that keeps me yearning and growing in Him.

There is a dichotomy of contentment and discontent in this life. We are never going to "have it all" or "do it all" in this life. If we try, we will either do justice to nothing that we do, or worse, we will fail miserably. Learning to be content with things of this world is a very valuable skill...and one that I have much to learn. Holy discontentment is what keeps us longing for heaven. To learn to be content regarding things of this world and discontent with our walk with Christ is a life-long process, but well worth the efforts.

I feel like these thoughts are not well organized and are quite disjointed, but I hope that you are able to grasp a bit of what I'm trying to convey. Your thoughts and opinions are welcome.