This Side Of Glory

I've moved!

2006-11-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

Moving is a tough thing and moving your blog site isn't always a simple matter, but I have actually made the move to http://heidi.astitch.biz/. I invite you to come on over, change your bookmark to the new site and join in on my thoughts. See you there!

Ducks

2006-10-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

I like to have my ducks in a row.

The problem is that I can't find any.

The Bible according to a 4 year old

2006-10-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of time picking up around here after little ones that "just don't get it" when it comes to putting away what they take out or cleaning up after themselves. I know that it's just how it is at this point in their little lives, but I have to admit that it is very frustrating at times. So in training my children to clean and pick-up the house, I want them to know that this is life. Sometimes we have to clean up after another person's mess...and we can do it cheerfully. The cheerful part is just as much training for me as for them.

Yesterday my 4 year old son was given the assignment of cleaning up the boots, coats, hats and mittens that the 22 month old had strewn around while the rest of us were assigned other jobs. He became quite exasperated and shouted, "The Bible says 'the one who smashes something has to pick it up!!'"

I began dreaming about this. What if this was how it was? My housekeeping would be so much easier! I'd have time I didn't know what to do with!

Now, if I could only find that verse...

Baby Wrapping

2006-10-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

A couple posts ago I mentioned getting some material for doing the baby wrap when our new one arrives. I had a question from someone regarding what that is.

I'm new to the concept myself, but it sounds wonderful to be able to use a long length of material to wrap your baby to yourself in various ways: on your back, side or front. It all sounds very intriguing for a mother with three other children who needs about 20 hands.

My favorite site so far on this topic is http://www.mamatoto.org/. Here they tell you what type and amount of material you need, along with many pictures and diagrams for the different types of wraps. There are tons of people making baby carriers/wraps out there, but let's just say they aren't giving them away.

So, when baby arrives and if I like this "wrap thing", I'll post about it with pictures.

A Cello Rondo

2006-10-20T12:24:00.001-07:00

I thought that this recording was pretty neat. It seems like a legistical nightmare to have one person record 37 parts on a cello and be able to put it together to sound this good. It's worth checking out...

Just what the doctor ordered

2006-10-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend started out with my husband bringing me home this gorgeous bouquet. I had spent the day packing and cleaning in preparation for heading down to visit his parents and my mother. My daughter wanted to bring them with, saying that she would gladly hold them, but it was really nice to come home to a clean house and red roses on the table after the weekend.

Traveling is quite an ordeal with three small children and since we don't go often, I try to make it memorable. I pack travel toys and food up to gazoo. The children are "helping" me pack all day and are waiting in the vehicle 1/2 hour before we are going to leave, asking for their containers of fish crackers.

We made it to our destination on Friday evening and my husband did the daunting task of unpacking. He was so gracious to just laugh at me bringing a tote of boots, snow pants, hats and mittens in addition to everything else. There was a dusting of snow at our place before we left and I thought, "Well, just in case there's snow this weekend and the children want to play outside..."

Keith stayed with his parents on Saturday to help them with some projects while I took the children to the Minnesota Children's Museum in St. Paul and met my mother. Keith calls it a 5-floor indoor playground and it kind of is. Yet, there are tons of educational exhibits there. If the public schools can bring students there for field trips during the school year, I can count it as a school day as well. They learned about occupations, machines, turtles, literature/play acting, cultural diversity, etc. Very educational. I was grateful for the opportunity to see my mother and also appreciated her help as three children going in three different directions can be challenging. A good day was had by all and my 22 month old was sleeping before we left the parking ramp.

On the way home, I stopped at S.R. Harris, a huge discount fabric warehouse that was overflowing with people. Try to picture floor to 20 foot ceiling bolts of material and then wanting the one on the bottom of the heap. What I was thinking in bringing three tired children there I'm not sure, but they behaved fairly well considering. I was able to find some fun pieces of material and thankfully I was able to nab a young kid employee to fish out the desired bolts. I would have given up trying if it was left to me. I want to try using a "baby wrap" when this new one is born in January. Another attempt at trying to figure out how to do multiple things at once... If the wrapping concept doesn't work for me, I have material for a couple dresses. A win-win situation.

It was a good weekend, but I was tired and the children were apparently tired afterward. This week has been tough so far. I was at wits end yesterday, feeling like a complete failure as a mother. There are parenting styles out there that I don't want to emulate, but I could see those poor coping skills coming out of me over and over. Very frustrating.

So today I get this email from a special friend, "Want to come over for chicken, corn, noodle soup today?" We talked as we dealt with children and I came home very refreshed. The children all took a nap and I went in my room, lit a candle, started some relaxing music and sewed...in the quiet.

I feel like a new person. It was just what the Doctor of all doctors ordered, and I was blessed.

Clean teeth

2006-10-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

I have this "thing" about having clean teeth. I think I inherited it from my father. I remember being on a family vacation and he would stand outside the van, flossing his teeth with the side mirror.

Yesterday I decided it was time to buy everyone in the house a new toothbrush. Last night everyone tore open their packages according to their favorite color. Our youngest got what was left over since he doesn't really care yet.

This new fangled thing has a texture on the opposite side from the bristles that massages your cheeks when you brush your molars. I didn't realize this until after I opened it. It's kind of a weird feeling. Of course the toothbrush manufacturers have to come up with something new and exciting. Another new gimmick, but it didn't seem to cost that much more than the "plain Jane".

You never realize how bad your previous toothbrush was until you get a new one. Despite the cheek massage, I could feel the plaque coming off my teeth. It was SO GREAT! Even this morning, there are no fuzzies! OK, OK...more than you wanted to know...

Tested by fire

2006-10-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

Living in the "north country", fire is even more significant in our lives in the winter than the summer. We use propane for a lot of our appliances, so that flicker from the pilot light becomes quite important...especially when it goes out in the water heater and halfway through the shower, that soothing flow turns cold! Now that it is getting cooler outside, we are getting to use our newly installed gas fireplace. I tell you, it is SO fun. It makes getting up in the morning tolerable as I sit in front of that flame of warmth. Yesterday was the day to fire up the outdoor wood burning stove. This heats water that goes through tubes in our concrete floor for radiant heat in our home and shop. Mmmmm...just cozy. Now the children can hardly wait for the snow to fly.

For us, fire is comforting because it is contained and we utilize it for our benefit.

God uses fire for a variety of reasons, but all for His glory. God used fire and brimstone to totally disintegrate Sodom and Gomorrah. God spoke to Moses out of a burning bush. He led the children of Isreal in the desert by a pillar of fire at night. God used fire to lap up Elijah's sacrifice, the water, the altar and the stones to prove His dominion in front of the false prophets of Baal.

Jesus sat around a fire at times to prepare food and also just as a meeting place. At Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came and was symbolized by a tongue of fire on each of their heads. Jesus spoke of hell as an everlasting place of torment and fire.

So many ways that God has used fire. So many ways that we don't fully understand.

Let's just take a moment to focus on this verse:

1 Cor 3:10-13
According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
KJV

Our motives, our longings, our inner drives...our heart...will be tested by fire at the end of the age when we stand before God. Was the foundation on Jesus Christ?

Did we witness out of a sense of duty or out of a pure heart aching for the lost?
Did we argue a point in Scripture because of an honest conviction revealed through His Word, or out of fear that our world would crumble if we were wrong?
Did we train our children to fear the Lord, or to fear what other's think?
Did we stand on tradition or truth?
Did we walk in legalism or obedience?
Did we walk in true humility or false humility?
Was our service to others for the praise of God, or the praise of men?
Did we REALLY love God, or did we just try to convince ourselves that we did?

God knows the truth. In most instances, we know the truth in our hearts. One of my most frequent prayers to my Father is, "Lord, please keep me from deception and keep my family from deception". You may, or may not agree to even pray such a thing, but the ache in my heart to *know my own heart* is strong. It is that drive within me that keeps me searching, yearning, wanting more, willing to change in order to draw closer to the Truth and the Originator of Truth and willing to stand in the midst of societal pressure.

I am willing, as much as I can be willing at this point in my life, to go through the test of God's fire. I can stand in fear of what God may allow me to go through in the future, but I am learning that God gives the grace to go through each test of fire at that time, and not before. Each circumstance can be used for His glory and as preparation for something to come, but the ultimate gift of grace to walk through the fire, comes as the flames start to lick our feet.

I trust Him, His purposes and His love for me. I know that it is for His glory.

Therefore I can rest even when I don't totally understand the purpose behind the fire.

This post was inspired by the "Carnival of Beauty". This time, it is topic is "Fire" and is hosted by Lindsey at Just Enjoy the Journey. Please stop by Lindsey's blog for all the submissions on this topic that will be listed on Wednesday...and check out her blog in general. It is one of my daily reads.

He had to "fix" something...

2006-10-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

Willing to suffer

2006-10-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

There is a family that comes to our church when they are in the area. Previously, they were missionaries in Africa and have adopted two African children. During the sermon discussion time during one visit, the man spoke up to add to the discussion and in doing so, he made the following statement: "I have come to notice a difference between people of Africa and those of America. People in Africa are not afraid of suffering. It is a part of everyone's life there. It's just accepted as they don't have the medical advances that we do, the living standards, etc. But they are very frightened of death. They are keenly aware of the spiritual realm and those that don't know Jesus are terrified of death. Americans on the other hand have no real fear of death, whether they are saved or not. Americans are terrified of suffering and will do anything to avoid it."

This fits in well with what Donna Kaufman discussed in her second session of the women's retreat that I attended. Read the synopsis of her first session, as well as links to her website here. Again, I will try to summarize her valuable thoughts below.

We. will. suffer. Life is difficult at times and it is through these difficulties that we are drawn to the Father. The fact is that some sorrows go on and on without any apparent end in this lifetime

*Despite the fact that we will suffer, can we rest in the midst of these struggles?*

Psalms 55
To the chief Musician on Neg'-i-noth, Mas'-chil, A Psalm of David.
Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication.
Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise;
Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked: for they cast iniquity upon me, and in wrath they hate me.
My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah.
I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.
Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues: for I have seen violence and strife in the city.
Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof: mischief also and sorrow are in the midst of it.
Wickedness is in the midst thereof: deceit and guile depart not from her streets.
For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:
But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.
We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.
Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell: for wickedness is in their dwellings, and among them.
As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.
Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.
He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me.
God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.
He hath put forth his hands against such as be at peace with him: he hath broken his covenant.
The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
But thou, O God, shalt bring them down into the pit of destruction: bloody and deceitful men shall not live out half their days; but I will trust in thee.
KJV

David poured out his heart to God and so should we. Even if we are not dealing with a situation well, God is there with us. It is part of His grace to draw us close and be near even when we are coping poorly.

*God is OK with our struggling. We don't need to have it all "together" before we can come and sit on His lap. God is there to hold our hand DURING the process.*

We need to be willing to embrace the struggles in our lives. It's not that we go looking for suffering and struggles, but when they inevitably come, we need to embrace it as a time of growth. There are waiting times in life...commas as another put it...when there is intense uncertainty, discomfort and agony. We need to work through these times in order to be transformed and for redemption to occur. The analogy of a cocoon is helpful here. The caterpillar willingly entered into a phase of life in which it is cold, tight and upside down...anything but comfortable. But the caterpillar had to go through this in order to be transformed.

In agonizing times, we want to run from suffering and struggles. We get busy with tasks/activities and turn to "happy" things to avoid the pain. Busyism, shopism, materialism, best parentism, self-protectionism, cleanism...just to name a few. :) We can't hear the Father when we are covering the pain with any "ism".

*We rarely allow God to let us go into the cocoon and therefore miss out on the transformation/redemption that God wants us to receive.*

In Mark 15, we read the account of Jesus enduring excruciatingly dark, agonizing pain and suffering, but He knew that He had to go through this in order to be transformed and resurrected into a new body.

We tend to get the idea that to suffer "well" is to be at total peace without any struggle, but Jesus didn't. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus did three key things:

1. Jesus collected his friends around him. He wanted others to walk alongside Him. Admittedly, the disciples were poor companions. They kept falling asleep. In this we must realize that people will fail us sometimes, but it is not wrong to ask a chosen one or two to join with us in praying through a difficult time.
2. Jesus went to the Father. In Hebrews 4, we are told to cease from our own works (i.e. fear, worry, self-ability, etc.). God promises His presence in the midst of our agony. We are not necessarily sinning with our emotions during a battle. Jesus expressed deep emotion and wrestled with what laid ahead to the point of sweating blood.
3. Jesus stayed in the presence of the Father as long as needed. He waited until He was totally surrendered to the Father's will.

THEN we can move forward in the midst of suffering with the peace and knowledge that "It's OK. The Father is with me." We NEED the darkness of suffering in order to reach God's rest. His grace allows us to rest well and to obey Him well. The presence of the Father brings transformation.

Other Scripture to look at regarding suffering:
Psalm 94
Psalm 56
Isaiah 41
Exodus 3

Nuggets of gold from Donna Kauffman

2006-09-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm finally getting a chance to post. Actually, I'm taking the time. I have a list of other things that need to get done, but I honestly need a break from these things more than getting them done at the moment!

A couple weekends ago, I attended the Borderland Ladies Retreat in International Falls, MN. This is the 4th year that I have been there, and it is wonderful. The ladies that put this retreat together go all out to make us feel special and pampered in the midst of putting together excellent speakers who inspire and encourage us in our walk as wives, mothers, and children of God.

This year was no exception. I'm going to focus on Donna Kauffman's first session in this post which mainly addressed "Decluttering our Hearts". By the way, Donna has a set of excellent books that can be found at Treasures Books. I would also highly recommend seeing if she can speak at your women's retreat or similar setting.

Our hearts are full of clutter. Each room of our heart is full of stuff: needing to be tended, cared for and cleaned...and cleaned out. There is a room for our husband, one for our children, the cleanliness of our homes, a room for fears, one full of clutter of worry and angry thoughts, another for errands we need to remember, yet another for special activities we're involved in...the list goes on and on. Imagine a room for each relationship, set of emotions and practical life. There is so much going on in these rooms and we think that we need to keep everything organized and clean in order to feel in control.

**It is terrifying for us to truly trust the Father.** Instead of trusting Him, we feel compelled to take control of every part of our lives...including our husbands and our children.

With all of this clutter, it is very difficult to quiet ourselves, allowing us to hear our Father and rest in His arms. We feel suffocated, trying to do good and yearning to be holy and perfect, and feeling like we need to work harder to get there.

When the room of fear and worry (or anger, or jealously, or, or, or...) is not all neat and tidy, those emotions come to the surface, maybe for the umteenth time and we can think, "Am I even saved?", "Will I ever get over this?", "Will God reject me because I can't get over this?" We become weary of the battle of our hearts.

We need to clean house, so that we can rest and trust in the One Who created us and loves us. We need to trust that God's grace WILL cover us when we fail over and over and over again as we run to His lap. We are accepted by Him and He desires to hold and affirm us.

Cry out to Him!

Ps 141:1

LORD, I cry unto thee: make haste unto me; give ear unto my voice, when I cry unto thee.

KJV

Know that He will never leave you and will walk with you through the battle. Allow unredeemed memories and past hurts to come to the surface in order to deal with them with the Father. Truth alone doesn't necessarily bring resolution. We need to bring it to the Father's lap and walk through it with Him.

In order to keep ourselves feeling "safe", we often put these strongholds ahead of God:

Stronghold of control- "If I can have everything nice and in order, with everyone doing things my way, I'll be OK."
Stronghold of contempt- "I'm worthless. I'm one big sin."
Stronghold of criticism- "I'll look better if I criticize others."

We need to replace the stronghold of control with trust in God, the stronghold of contempt with the Father's love and the stronghold of criticism with the Father's comforting presence.

**Delight in the peace and rest of leaving everything in the Father's capable hands.**

Our job as wives and mothers is to love our husbands, teach our children to know God (not to please others) and to know Him ourselves. We need to get rid of the rest of the clutter in our hearts. (I will interject my personal thoughts here: Some may argue that we are to love and serve our brothers and sisters in Christ and be witnesses of Christ to the unsaved around us in addition to the above. I agree. BUT, I believe that these things will come about in our lives as we focus on our families and draw closer to His heart. Then those actions of love and evangelism will flow out of our love for Him and our close relationship to Him rather than a "works" mentality, which clutters up another room in our hearts. I hope I'm making sense.)

Receive the Father's heart that delights in us just as we are, quiets us with His love and rejoices over us with singing.

Zeph 3:17
The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
KJV

May you be blessed as you mediate on His love and acceptance of you today.

I'm coming back...really

2006-09-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit crazy around here the last week or so. I was at a wonderful women's retreat this last weekend and I plan to sit down and process some of the things that were spoken of there here on this blog. Hopefully you will be blessed by it as well.

I hope to get back into blogging the end of this week or the beginning of next week. Until then, thank you for stopping by and God bless...

ABC's for life

2006-09-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

This was on the wall of a friend's house and they graciously wrote it out for me to have in my home. It's on the side of my refrigerator facing the kitchen sink, so I can easily look over and read one as I'm rinsing dishes. I thought you might enjoy it as well.

Accept life's circumstances you find yourself in. God knows the details of your life and His grace is sufficient to meet your need.

Begin the day with God. As soon as you get out of bed, turn your thoughts heavenward. Thank God for a new day and the strength to arise.

Count your blessings. They are innumerable. Praise God that you have work to do, even if it may seem to overwhelm you. It would be worse to not be able to work at all.

Do your best and leave the rest. Whether God has given you one, two, or five talents. He only asks that we do our best with what He has given us.

Eat healthful foods, including lots of raw (and cooked) fruits and vegetables. We all know that too much sugar and too many fats are not good for our bodies.

Flee temptation. Whether you struggle with wrong eating habits, wrong thinking patterns, or harmful reading material, go to God for strength to overcome that which would drag you down.

Get medical or nutritional help if your condition merits it. Physical problems make hard to maintain emotional stability.

Heart-to-heart talks with a spouse or friend can be a source of strength and encouragement. Although the situation may not change, sharing with another can change our outlook toward the situation.

Invite friends, happy thoughts, and God's Spirit into your life. Discourage negative thoughts and self-pity.

Just be yourself. Your strengths and weaknesses can make a beautiful pattern if given to the Master Weaver.

Keep your focus on Jesus. "Look to self, you'll be depressed. Look to others, you'll be distressed. Look to Christ and you'll be blessed."

Lean hard on the Lord. When everything you try fails to lift your spirits, just keep walking by faith. Trust that the Lord is walking beside you in the vale, and will lead you into the sunshine again.

Memorize Scripture. Saturate your mind with God's Word and His precious promises.

Notice and appreciate small blessings- a letter in the mail, a bird singing, a flower blooming, a smile from a family member.

Overcoming depression is not something that happens overnight. Each victory will help you another to win.

Pray without ceasing. Have a prayerful attitude as you go about your work and converse with the Lord.

Quietly and earnestly fall on you knees in prayer. Be honest with God and tell Him exactly how you are struggling and that you desire to overcome.

Reach out to others. It helps to get our minds off ourselves, and be interested in the feelings and experiences of others.

Sing a song, not only with your voice, but with your mind and heart also. Singing, like praying, helps even though we do not feel like doing it.

Take a walk. Walk briskly and breathe deeply. Tilt your face to the sky and drink in the sunshine and the beauty of the heavens.

Use time wisely. Tackle a job even if you don't feel like it. We don't always need to be accomplishing great tasks, but to just keep moving forward and getting something done.

Value friendship with family members and little children. Invest time in worthwhile projects or hobbies with them and you will be greatly rewarded.

Watch out for attitudes and thought patterns that feed depression. Refuse to let those thoughts govern your life.

Xamine your life before God. Pride and hidden rebellion can be hard to detect, but are sins that easily beset us.

Yield and surrender every part of your life to God- your will, mind, body, soul, thoughts, desires and circumstances. The more we surrender, the greater our peace.

Zealously follow after God and His ways, not allowing your heart to become languid and cold.

Homemade Bread

2006-08-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, I make my own bread...sometimes. Now, just because I make bread doesn't mean that you have to make your own bread. In fact, it has NOTHING to do with whether you are a good mother or not, as I'm finding out via the blogging world that some insinuate. You may actually be a better mother for not making your own bread and giving your children store-bought bread and canned soup...especially if that means that you are spending that extra time with your children.

I just like to make food from scratch, but life sometimes doesn't allow for that. Therefore, there are times that I buy bread. In fact, the other weekend, our family was going to get together with another family and roast brats over the fire. My husband was talking on the phone to the other Mr. and said that we could bring some of our store-bought bread over as we didn't have buns. He proceeded to jokingly start giving my husband a hard time that we were "slipping" in buying store bread. Just then my husband heard his wife telling him that they only had store bread to contribute too! Got 'im!

But today, I was able to get a batch of bread made. I'm finally pleased with the product after years of frustration over crumbly bread. It's such a great feeling. I used dough enhancer and follow all the recipe's tips for "better consistency", but to no avail. I would make the loaves, yet inside I was wishing I had the stuff from the store that you can see through.

Now, I followed the advice of a friend and I have a secret ingredient to share with those of you that want to take the plunge of making your own bread, or have been frustrated with your bread-making results. I have tried this ingredient now with probably 10 batches of bread and they have all consistently worked beautifully.

Here it is...

Are you ready??

Potato flakes.

There. The secret is out.

For once, I can cut thin slices of whole wheat bread without it crumbling to bits. No more sandwiches that have to have 1" slices of bread so it doesn't fall apart with each bite...but when you have such a large sandwich, you can't fit it in your mouth anyway. It's like a dream come true, I tell you!

Just add 3/4-1 cup of potato flakes in with your flour for a 5-6 loaf batch and it works like a charm.

Happy baking!

Always wanting more

2006-08-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm kind of late getting into this discussion, but there is quit a hubbub about this article. Two articles were written, one by a man and the other by a woman, regarding career women. There are quite a few people talking about it with a wide variety of opinions. If you are interested in reading what other bloggers and their commenters are saying, I know of three: here, here, and here.

As I have been pondering this, various things have come to mind. A verse came to remembrance today that I think relates to this whole issue.

Gen 3:6
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of
the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he
did eat.
KJV

I have a notation in my Bible above this verse, "We as women are always wanting more- more wisdom, more knowledge, more things." Eve desired more and it cost her...deeply. So wanting more is nothing new. It was around with the first lady on earth.

I painfully know that this is true for me. I am always wanting more and frustrated with myself over my discontentment. One commenter mentioned how they know of many housewives that are pushing and pushing for their husbands to the brink of exhaustion to bring home more money so that they can have more of what they want. Ouch.

On the other hand, there are others out there commenting that women want it all. They want the perfect family, with a homemade meal on the table, to have their children involved in every activity under the sun, every gadget and gizmo, and have a very "fulfilling" career outside the home. The argument is that women can't have it all and something needs to give. Of course there are others that say that women should be able to have it all.

I appreciated what Spunky had to say about her heart, focus and goals being towards home both before, during and after her children have left home. Some say they can do this while having a full-time career, but I know that I can't.

In Molly's post, and in subsequent comments, it is clear that it isn't popular in conservative Christian circles to mention that you aren't feeling 100% fulfilled as a SAHM (Stay at home mother). There was a sense of relief by some commenters that it's OK to even say such a thing. Being a SAHM IS hard and doesn't always feel fulfilling. If you allow your thoughts to go down that hole, you can feel down-right trapped. But if you acknowledge that your role is a God-given one and challenge yourself in developing the "art" of homemaking (and homeschooling, if you have decided to do that), it is very fulfilling and takes much creativity and effort.

One other point that was brought up that caught my eye was that we shouldn't try to fit into a man-made idea of what a woman's role is. We need to follow what God calls each of us to do. OK. It sounds good and there is definitely an element of truth there. My first red-flag is that God would never call us to do something that goes against His Word. God does call women to be keepers at home. Granted there is a wide spectrum of opinions regarding what that entails, but caution is needed, that is for sure. It would be quite easy for someone to have an unGodly desire and twist it to say, "God called me to this."

When I was working in my favorite position at an occupational therapist, was I 100% fulfilled? No. Even then I wanted more. I loved that job and it still holds warm, fuzzy feelings for me, but was it my all-in-all? Absolutely not. I still wanted to be married, to have a family, live out in the boondocks and be self-sufficient.

There are sacrifices for goals. Just a few months ago, my husband and I seriously discussed my taking a part-time therapist position. It was good money and we reasoned that it would be good for me to maintain my therapy skills and help us in some other goals we have. But the many details for it to work, just didn't and in our hearts, we realized that it was not God's plan, at least for the time-being with situations as they are. It was after this realization, that I was talking to a well-meaning, professional lady who works in public education. She encouraged me to consider a part-time job so that it was easier for me to homeschool as I would get "out" a bit. I thought of this much during my wrestling over the job option and could tell her with confidence that having a job outside the home would NOT make it easier for me. I would just be heaping on more responsibility on myself and my husband that we didn't need. All of a sudden there would be babysitter scheduling, what to do if the children were sick, planning meals when I'm gone, trying to have a meal on the table for supper after working all day, trying to schedule homeschooling into a shorter week... No, it wouldn't make things easier. It would make things harder. There are sacrifices to make and seasons of life to realize and embrace.

It seems that this notion of women always wanting more is not a totally bad thing...if it is desiring more of God and what He wants. It is the wanting of more of God, a deeper relationship with Him, a more consistent Christian walk, a deeper understanding of Scripture, a more intimate worship of Him throughout my day, wanting to love Him more by practically loving my family more...it is in not being satisfied with my walk with the Lord that keeps me yearning and growing in Him.

There is a dichotomy of contentment and discontent in this life. We are never going to "have it all" or "do it all" in this life. If we try, we will either do justice to nothing that we do, or worse, we will fail miserably. Learning to be content with things of this world is a very valuable skill...and one that I have much to learn. Holy discontentment is what keeps us longing for heaven. To learn to be content regarding things of this world and discontent with our walk with Christ is a life-long process, but well worth the efforts.

I feel like these thoughts are not well organized and are quite disjointed, but I hope that you are able to grasp a bit of what I'm trying to convey. Your thoughts and opinions are welcome.

It's a love/hate thing

2006-08-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

My husband and I were blissfully married in November of 1999. We were settling in to married life and for my birthday in January, I mentioned that I would like to go to the animal shelter and look at puppies. Of course we found the cutest black furball which they had determined was half German Shepherd and half Samoyed (you know, the sled dog breed). They warned of of how much exercise this dog would need and invited us back for the puppy social. We never went, by the way.

We affectionately called her, Grizzly. She just looked like a grizzly bear. She would crawl under the couch and you couldn't find her because she is totally coal black. The only thing going for us was that her eyes would reflect light. If she was curled up with her head down, forget finding her under there.

She stayed in a very comfy "kennel" in the garage and we got our first tastes of being rudely awakened by a very lonely dog. Thankfully for her, we ended up moving to a 160 acre farm a few months later and eventually she learned to stay on our property and therefore could be off the dreaded cable line.

She really does look like a grizzly bear, which is helpful if a stranger sees her from a distance. The watchdog in her is basically useless the closer the stranger comes. She just sees another person that she can cheerfully greet onto our property.

With her black, thick fur, she relishes 40 below temperatures. It is a rare instance in which you will find her in her dog house...maybe during a sleet storm. She can usually be found in the dead of winter sleeping on top of the snow and it doesn't melt under her.

When we got our first set of kittens, she loved them uncontrollably. They hissed and swung at her nose with sharp claws. Grizzly wouldn't give up. Then we saw it one day... the cat sleeping on Grizzly out on the grass. Of course the cat wouldn't have stayed there if he would have known that anyone was watching, but alas, Grizzly's affection won out and they were friends.

This happens every time we get kittens. Grizzly is just a bit overbearing and they want to show her who is boss. Oh reeeeaaaaly.

So today, this is what I found...

Yep, they are licking each other in complete dog/cat affection. Grizzly won out again.

God's Face

2006-08-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

This afternoon my children were begging to walk down the gravel road to pick rosehips. I finally conceeded. When we arrived at the spot where the rosehips were ripe, I told them to stay there and I would walk up around the bend and get our mail. When I returned, my 5 year old daughter started in on her usual chatter.

"God was watching over us while you were gone and keeping us safe, wasn't He Mommy?" (I was only moments away mind you, but I have often told them about safety regarding strangers.)

"Yes."

"God was watching over you while you were getting the mail, wasn't He Mommy?"

"Yes."

"God is watching over everybody all over the place at the same time, isn't He Mommy?"

"Yes."

"God has a BIIIIIIG face, doesn't He Mommy?"

"Uhhhh...........yes."

Busy Days

2006-08-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

Days have been filled to overflowing here lately. Hence, my poorly updated blog.

I have zucchini coming out my ears, so I have been canning and freezing it. I have shredded, sliced and cubed zucchini in the freezer and canned squash as well as another experiment: pineapple zucchini. I got these recipes in the comments section of this post. The zucchini crisp listed below is pretty good I think. We've had it twice now. I just canned pineapple zucchini. The person who gave the recipe said that you can't tell the difference between this and regular crushed pineapple in recipes. We'll see, but my daughter licked the pot after it simmered and she said it tasted like pineapple. (Mom, can you email me your pineapple bar recipe??)

Zucchini Crisp My Way
Topping:
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
5 oz. (5/8 cup) butter or margarine

Filling:6 to 8 cups zucchini, peeled and cubed
2/3 cup lemon juice
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease a 9 x 13 baking pan. Prepare the pastry topping by combining the flour, sugar, salt and cinnamon in a bowl. Cut in the butter or margarine until crumbly. Set aside.

In a medium-sized pot, cook the zucchini in lemon juice until tender, about 10 minutes. Add the sugar, nutmeg and the teaspoon of cinnamon. Simmer for about a minute then add a half cup of the saved pastry topping. Simmer until this thickens stirring constantly. Let cool a bit. Pour the zucchini mixture into the baking dish. Sprinkle the topping over the zucchini. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Zucchini Pineapple
1 gallon ground zucchini, green or yellow
1 1/2 cups lemon juice
2 1/2 cups sugar
46 ounce can unsweetened pineapple juice
2 tsp. pineapple extract

Mix together all ingredients except extract; simmer 20 minutes. Add extract and stir well. Fill hot jars according to manufacturer's directions. Process in hot water bath 20 minutes. Makes 9 pints.

My husband graciously helped me can 38 quarts of peaches and I have canned and froze green beans and broccoli. The tomatoes have started ripening. I can hardly wait to dehydrate some of the roma's for sun-dried tomatoes. I have some scrumptious recipes that call for them.

I'm getting revved up to have a regular school schedule. We've been trying to establish a routine, so within a couple weeks we'll be ready for how the next year will go. My struggle at this time is figuring out how to do school with a 20 month old wanting to destroy the house. I'm toying with alternative schedules, and trying to have multiple containers with activities to occupy his time. I've gotten some good ideas here, here and here.

In addition to a school schedule, we've been desperately trying to get into a chore schedule. My older two have their list of chores and are expected to know their chores and do them fairly independently. My "house destroyer" helps me with my chore list. He adores filling the washer and dryer and helping carry folded clothes to various rooms with me. Now that we've been doing it for a month or so, it's finally becoming more tolerable. Less-thandesirablee attitudes have surfaced more than once in the children and adults in this house. It's amazing how "work" brings it up from the depths of the Adamic nature. I appreciated what a friend told me that she tells her children, "Work is a major part of life. It would be better if you decided that you were going to like it. Otherwise life is going to be quite miserable for you."

Also, our farmette has started. We added on a lean-to on our shop for a "barn" this spring. We are now proud owners of 6 rabbits and 4 kittens. We got two male and two female kittens, so hopefully we can get some to stick around. We were proud to see that one of the females got a mouse already today. That's their job. They have to earn their keep. Talk is that we may get a pig next spring. I'm not sure what to think about that yet, but the bacon sounds good.

Off to pick more zucchini...

Heaven

2006-08-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

I can hardly wait to be in Heaven. What a glorious place to be; worshipping Jesus with the saints that have gone before and the throngs of angels; bowing to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords saying "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!!" over and over again. Can you see it?

I had someone tell me once that she can't dwell on thoughts of heaven too much because there was a time in her life when she did and it just made her discontent with where God had her now and what God had her doing in this life. That did give me pause to think. Is there something to the saying that "one can be too heavenly minded to be any earthly good"? I just don't think so. To long to be Home with Jesus keeps my focus on Him. It helps to keep my perspective right. There is a precious balance between being content with where God has us for the time-being and a discontentment because we are not at home with Jesus. This world ISN'T my home. I AM just passing through. I am part of the Kingdom of God and I am currently living in a foreign land.

How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

We read of a place that's called Heaven,

It's made for the pure and the free;

These truths in God's Word He hath given,